RE: Familiarity and change

>> The difference seems to be that in the "big girls" nursery the kids all
eat
>> at the same table, compared to "little girls" nursery where they ate from
>> high chairs.  Seeing her peers eat grapes without complaint seems to have
>> given her the confidence to do the same.  

 I haven't read much child psychology, in fact I haven't read any - yet, but
I'm bound to read some since I should become a father by the end of the
summer. (Btw., any suggestions there from the fine people on this list? If
the host minds the digression please feel free to email advice on child
rearing books).

 The book where I have eventually encountered "high peer influence on
children" stated very clearly is "The Tipping Point". 
 It turns out that all the influence you try to make on them is heavily
topped by the influence of their peers. Simply - kids do like other kids do,
most of the time. They especially tend to copy the ones that are regarded as
cool (whatever "cool" is at some point in their childhood).

>> I wonder if we old folks are just the same ...

I suppose that the older we get our behavioral patterns get more entrenched
and steady, along with our diminishing ability to (willingly or unwillingly)
learn, but the influence of the environment is always there. 
From what I've seen, most of us unconsciously do try melt in, not stand out
- "fit in the tribe" or some similar archetype must be at work there. A
similar thing is one of "The Tipping Point" points (NYC subway example). For
instance studies have shown that if a shabby looking guy goes jaywalking
people don't tend to follow, but when a respectable looking gentlemen does -
they do, but this is a different story. Once I've heard this from somebody,
I also started observing and noticing this. In my programming life I've seen
people that initially wrote pretty decent code start "melting into the
environment" when thrown into some ugly legacy app - The Pickle Jar Syndrome
(I first found this name in Pragmatic Programmers book, and later on I've
found this in some G. Weinberg book I believe). 

To stay in the list context - I have found "The Tipping Point" to be a very
interesting and insightful book on Change. I assume that this book is no
stranger to the people on this list.

Regards,
M.




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