RE: [resistance] Being a Better Resister

> >I've also observed the ways my resistence (and
> >that of others) is poorly handled.

>Can you give an example or two of these things?

I've seen two basic types of poor handling of resistance.  The first is lash
out and try to discredit the resister, the second is to ignore the
resistance.

I was recently on a project to create an entirely new architecture for our
products as the business representative and requirements provider.  I
watched as the architects completely missed the most basic of the needs of
our business.  When I tried to call attention to this (first within the
team, then through escalation), the architects (from a very large three
letter company) attacked my understanding of the business, then my
understanding of the architecture, then personally attacked my approach to
participating in the project.  Needless to say, it wasn't fun.

When I tried to escalate the concerns within my "chain of command", I met
the other method.  They agreed with my concerns, but didn't want to fight
our three letter consultant, so asked me to "write a white paper" with my
concerns.  In other words, stick my neck out with no support whatsoever.
More fun!

The end of the story is that the project was killed because it was too
expensive and didn't meet our business needs going forward -- all issues
that could have been addressed earlier with more effective handling of my
resistance (and better handling on my part of making the resistance
effective).

> > so that I can be a better resister

> In what ways would you like to be a better resister?

I would like to be more effective at getting to the root behind the
resistance and not allow the message get lost in the delivery.  Sometimes
when you feel alone on the island of resistance, it's easy to slip into a
confrontational style, rather than a one of cooperation.

> > We have a 3-year old son who is a master of resistance

> Well, 3-year-olds are certainly out of /my/ league!

I think mine, too! :-)


Ronald E. Thompson III
Director of Product Delivery
govONE Solutions
(720) 332-3654
(303) 470-6922
[email protected]
[email protected]
Abstainer, n.

  A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and
especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.

 -- Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary

  -----Original Message-----
  From: Dale Emery [mailto:[email protected]]
  Sent: Tuesday, April 29, 2003 12:22 AM
  To: [email protected]
  Subject: [resistance] Being a Better Resister


  Hi Ron,

  > I find it most (sometimes) entertaining to see how resistence
  > is most efficiently fostered when managers want to avoid
  > resistence.  I've also observed the ways my resistence (and
  > that of others) is poorly handled.

  Can you give an example or two of these things?

  > Very curious to see how the conversations take shape.

  Me too.  Feel free, any of you, to start up whatever conversation
  you'd like to have.

  > I would like to better understand the whole idea of making
  > effective use of resistance so that I can be a better resister
  > and help managers with whom I interact to make better use of
  > the resistance they encounter.

  In what ways would you like to be a better resister?

  > We have a 3-year old son who is a master of resistance -- and I
  > can't figure out how to make it a resource :-)

  Well, 3-year-olds are certainly out of /my/ league!

  Dale

  --
  Web:    http://www.dhemery.com
  Weblog: http://www.dhemery.com/journal (Conversations with Dale)


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