Re: Re: Introductions

>  > What tools are helpful in clarifying your own fears?
>
> I'd love to hear from some more people about this.
>
> For me, the trick is mostly noticing that I'm fearing something.
>   That's a challenge for me, because I'm often stuck in my head,
> or too busy attacking to notice what's happening inside me.
>
> Once I notice that I'm fearing something, it's often a pretty
> short step to finding out what the fear is.  I simply ask, "What
> I'm I fearing here?"

To broaden this a bit beyond fear, I ask myself "What am I feeling?" This
was a core diagnostic in the counseling I went through. They also limited
the responses to one of the eight:

Glad
Sad
Fear
Lonely
Anger
Hurt
Guilt
Shame

... the idea being that at any time how we feel can be broken down into one
or more of these eight - like the Periodic Table of Elements for the heart.
We have many adjectives to describe feelings, but I've found this list never
lacking. (BTW, if anyone has a formal reference for this list of eight, I'd
appreciate it). Usually the adjectives are good at describing combinations
of feelings (eg: excitement
-> glad plus a touch of fear) and good at describing amount of feeling (eg:
annoyed -> small anger || furious -> large anger), but breaking down to the
basics can be helpful to pick apart what's going on.

I believe that emotions are a nervous system to my beliefs. Whenever any
interaction with my beliefs occurs, one or more of the basic eight are
triggered. And they're automatic. I don't control what I feel, emotions just
happen. I find my emotions to be very reliable -- not for guiding me to
where I need to be, but for diagnosing where I am. Knowing where I am is a
crucial starting place.

I find Dale's description of resistance and its usefulness to be very much
the same thing, just different terms.

> Other times it's not so simple.  When I need to explore more
> deeply, I sometimes consult with myself using pen and paper.  I
> write a conversation between consultant-Dale and stuck-Dale.  I'm
> somehow able to switch between the two, and I'm usually surprised
> at what I learn.
>
> One question that pops up a lot in my self-consultation is some
> form of "... and what would happen then?"
>
> Finally, a journal helps.  I haven't journaled in quite some
> time, though.

Agree as well. Journaling, talking out loud, anything that forces me to
communicate what's going on, especially in a 'safe' way where I can
communicate without editing myself. Most likely what's going on is painful,
and editing myself is a form of protection -- a very useful skill in many
cases, but not when I'm trying to figure out what's going on.

Chris
tech: http://clabs.org/blog
arts/faith: http://cministries.org/blog


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