Re: Re: Introductions

> Based on this (albeit brief) premise, I'd argue that emotional response
and resistance doesn't "just happen".  Granted, it is very real and
experienced in the current moment but given that it's root is in a persons
past experience, has little to do with rationally or humanly addressing the
present.....the here and now. <

I'm reading your point as a separate one from mine -- I don't see them
conflicting, although the wording appears to.

I believe that the emotions "just happen" vs. me controlling/choosing my
emotional reaction. If I'm hit in the stomach, I don't choose what feelings
to have, otherwise I could choose to feel genuinely happy in every
circumstance and never have a 'bad' feeling ever again. I do choose my
reaction in terms of what I do about it. American vernacular frequently
blurs this line, "Control your feelings," "Control your anger." Well, I
can't really do that. I can control my choices in reaction to my feelings,
but that's an important distinction.

I agree that the emotion is rooted in a person's past experience. Or, to be
more precise, that the emotion is a reflection of my current beliefs
(regardless of how globally rational or irrational they are), and that my
believes are set by numerous experiences in my past.

> Chris makes a valuable point that one is well served to identify their
current emotion and notice how it constrains their ability to perform well
in the present moment <

I think you've interpreted my point a little narrowly. Identifying the
current emotion is a tool to help me to figure out what I really believe.
The emotions may not be constraining me at all, although that can frequently
happen.

My wife is very familiar with her feelings and is rarely constrained by
them. She really is great at, in the moment, knowing her feelings, tying
those back to her beliefs, and then taking action on them.

When I experience feelings, especially strong ones, they usually trip me up.
I stall and get confused, it's harder for me to tie them back to something
my brain can start working with.

> but I think allowing resistant people to get off the hook by saying "this
is just how I am" or "this is just how I feel" is surrendering to something
that happened to them when they were children and is re-asserting itself
into the present moment. This dynamic interference with current time
situations (it is my experience) lends a surreal and irrational component
that  confuses and makes one forget present truths. <

I agree with you here. What I said before was: "I find my emotions to be
very reliable -- not for guiding me to where I need to be, but for
diagnosing where I am. Knowing where I am is a crucial starting place." This
is not at all the same as then justifying my beliefs as correct simply
because I have feelings about them. That's as silly as saying cancer is good
for me because I feel the pain of it (or, as you put it David, saying, "This
is just how I am.")

But, if I'm resisting something, I need to know where I stand first, so that
then the evaluation process can commence with the proper diagnosis.

For example, after two quick and easy releases without customer sign-off not
too long ago, my boss comes to me and insists the customer on my project
must sign-off on any new releases. I feel really angry. And it's just
there - bam, angry. Why am I upset? Am I justified in my feelings or not? No
way to tell until I trace those feelings back to the underlying beliefs that
are generating them, then compare to Reality and see what's up.

Chris
tech: http://clabs.org/blog
arts/faith: http://cministries.org/blog


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