The Straight Dope 04/15/2005

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The Straight Dope 04/15/2005
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moderate time XXXX 2005/04/15 04:00
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The Straight Dope -- By Cecil Adams
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THE STRAIGHT DOPE 04/15/2005

Dear Cecil:

I just watched Oliver Stone's Any Given Sunday, which I
thought was pretty good until somebody's eye got knocked
out of their head. Literally. Has this ever really
happened in football? If not, it seems gratuitous to have
put this scene in the film. If so-- GRROOOOOSSSSSS!!!
--Morbidly Curious in Maine

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Cecil replies:

Certain parties are now thinking: This is one realm of
knowledge in which I'm content to leave my ignorance
intact. Buck up, muchachos--at least I'm going to spare
you the color photos. Although I couldn't find an
instance of an eye knocked out while its owner was
playing football, accidents of this sort do happen,
sometimes resulting from surprisingly little force. In
Anomalies and Curiosities of Medicine (1897), George
Gould and Walter Pyle report several cases of what they
call exophthalmos, protrusion of the eye from the orbit,
or socket: 

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/050415.html

STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC #1 - 08/31/1984

Dear Straight Dope:

The following question isn't something I could send to
Action Line, but I've always wanted to know: what is the
origin of the "F" word? A friend told me it's an
abbreviation of "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge,'' which
was supposedly stamped on the foreheads of couples who
were locked up in the stocks for fornicating without
benefit of matrimony. Also, whither the expression "fuck
you"? I've always agreed with George Carlin, who says
"unfuck you" would be a more appropriate curse,
indicating you hope the person you are cursing would
never enjoy the pleasure of sex again, rather than
wishing them the opposite. --Lois S., Mesa, Arizona

Cecil replies:

This is going to be a little crude, folks, but let's try
to keep a stiff upper lip. I've heard a number of
variations of the "fuck-as-acronym" story, none of which,
in my opinion (and that of most linguists), is even
remotely likely: (1) It stands for "fornication under
consent of the king," which was supposedly tacked up over
the doors of government-approved brothels in early
England. (2) It stands for "for the use of carnal
knowledge," which allegedly was stamped on condoms, or,
alternatively, used the same way as "for unlawful carnal
knowledge."

This passion for preposterous acronyms seems to be
peculiar to Anglo-Americans, and some believe it started
around World War I, about the same time many acronyms
began popping up in government.  . .

For more, see: 
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_268b.html

STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC #2 - 04/27/1984

Dear Cecil: 

The "whisperized" helicopter in the movie Blue Thunder
called to mind reports of ranchers having seen silent
aircraft over areas where mutilated cattle were
subsequently found.  Do the facts to date point to any
conclusions on who could afford to do these strange
mutilations for so many years and yet remain so close to
committing the perfect crime?   Is there any similar
crime in history that appears to be so big, widespread,
and yet so steadfastly ignored? (Ranchers seem to fall
silent out of some feeling that "the walls have ears.")
--Rob T., Baltimore  

Dear Rob:  

Whenever I start to fret that earthlings are becoming so
intelligent and sophisticated that I will soon be out of a job, 
something like cattle mutilation comes along to convince me 
I'm going to be in business for the next two million years. 

Every year thousands of cattle die on North American
ranges, the victims of diseases, parasites, predators,
accidents, weirdo pranksters, and Lord knows what else.

In most cases the cause of death is obvious, but
sometimes it's not.  Since everybody loves a mystery,
especially if it involves mysto paranormal conspiracies,
an incredible legend has sprung up about a strange force
that goes around cutting the gonads off the nation's moo-
cows. 

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_281.html

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