The Straight Dope 03/31/2006

The Straight Dope -- By Cecil Adams
http://www.straightdope.com

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THE STRAIGHT DOPE 03/31/2006

Dear Cecil:

This is going to take a while to explain, so bear with me. My kid is a
fan of the Age of Empires series of computer games, which give you a
bird's-eye view of the landscape on which your armies cavort. You can
see an amazing amount of detail, but a while back I noticed something I
found comical: whenever you come across an A-of-E island, you see waves
crashing on the beach on all sides. Damn computer geeks who wrote this
need to get out more, I thought--don't they know waves are driven by the
wind, and the wind can't blow in all directions at once? I felt smug
till we visited the Hawaiian island of Kauai over Christmas. Our cottage
was on the south side of the island--we were lulled to sleep by the
waves crashing on the beach. We visited the famous Na Pali coast on the
north side of the island, and were impressed but a little puzzled (I
was, anyway) by the massive waves crashing on the beach. Finally we took
a helicopter tour, and you know what? On every side of the island there
were waves crashing on the beach. I'm stumped. OK, the waves on the
north were bigger than those on the south--supposedly this is due to
winter storms. But shouldn't the waters on the lee side of an island be
calm? --Alden S., Chicago

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Cecil replies:

Obviously not, but don't let that get your hopes up, pops. Just because
a computer game faithfully reflects reality once in a while doesn't mean
you're about to meet Lara Croft.

Yes, waves crash on all sides of an island, and no, that doesn't require
the wind to blow in all directions at once. (Well, from all directions
at once.) In the big-picture sense you're right that the chief force
driving waves is the wind. However, the ocean is a capacious place with
a lot of water in it, and once set in motion a sequence of waves, or
wave train (actually, in midocean it's more of a deep-swell train),
isn't an easy thing to divert. So while waves move in the direction of
the prevailing winds as a general proposition, what the wind is doing
right this instant is largely immaterial. Instead, how a wave behaves on
encountering an island is mainly a function of its interaction with the
surrounding sea floor.

No doubt you can find more elegant explanations, but the following
homely metaphor should get the matter across well enough.

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/060331.html

STAFF REPORT

Dear Straight Dope:

My daughter informs me that the date 6/6/06 is coming up. Being a little
disappointed at our last couple examples of doomsday hype, I wanted to
know if there was anything to worry about. Should I start going to
church? What's the origin of the "mark of the beast"? Was it truly
supposed to represent Satan or is it a gematria interpretation of Julius
Caesar's name? --John Escalante, Los Angeles

SDSTAFF Dex replies:

You'd better believe you should worry, John. Where do you get off,
making fun of prior doomsday hypes? The last time we had such a conflux
of 666 was June 6, 1666--the date of the Great Fire that destroyed
London. OK, the fire was actually September 2, not June 6, but we're not
going to quibble about a few months, are we? And remember September
11--if you add the digits 9+11 you get 20, which is just two more than
6+6+6! Even worse, if you include the year 2001, the sum of the digits
is 23, which is just one short of 6+6+6+6!!! 

OK, seriously. The famous quote, "the number of the beast . . . is 666"
is from the book of Revelation (note that the title is singular, not
plural), the last book of the New Testament

Revelation is classified as apocalyptic literature, i.e., writings about
eschatology, the end of times, events hidden in the future, when the
forces of Good and Evil fight the ultimate war. The earlier Old
Testament book of Daniel has similar visions, as do some of the
non-biblical Dead Sea scrolls. Generally, this type of literature was
written between 200 BC and 100 AD. The book of Revelation was probably
finalized around 95 AD, during the reign of the Emperor Domitian,
although some parts are likely dated shortly before 70 AD, during the
reign of Nero and prior to the destruction of Jerusalem. 

Apocalyptic literature is mystical, characterized by powerful, vivid
imagery and kaleidoscopes of symbolism that let the reader's imagination
run wild. There are bizarre creatures, strange numerology, and fantastic
allegory. 

For more, see: 
http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/m666.html

STRAIGHT DOPE CLASSIC - 05/09/1992

Dear Cecil: 

A little over a year ago I was doing my coachly duty at a high school
speech tournament when a fellow coach announced that she wanted the pull
tabs from our empty soda cans. She said she was saving them for a woman
who could turn them in to get cancer treatment. It sounded like an urban
legend to me but I kept my mouth shut, since it's uncool to dis one's
fellow coaches.  Not surprisingly, the story had legs. At the start of
this school year my students started mentioning that we should be saving
pull tabs to help someone get kidney dialysis. As it is OK to dis one's
students, I told them they were nuts and pressed them for evidence. None
could name the generous hospital or even the needy kidney patient. I
hoped I'd put an end to this goofy tale.  Sadly, the story has now
appeared again, with the added authority endowed by the school public
address system. Every day an announcement is read urging students to
place their pull tabs in collection containers so they can be given to
some poor nameless kidney patient. The kids are now convinced there must
be some substance to this and my insistence to the contrary is losing
credibility. Please, Cecil, find out what you can and restore my
reputation. --Lexy A. Green, Oakland, California  

Dear Lexy:  

Don't get your hopes up, teach. So-called redemption rumors have been
floating around at least since the 1950s and probably earlier. Before kidney
dialysis came along you typically were told to save cigarette packs to
buy somebody time on an iron lung--one of your classic sick bargains.
 
Most such stories were false, but not all. For example, from 1948 till
1979 the makers of Vets Dog Food would make a one to two cent donation
to an outfit that trained seeing-eye dogs for each Vets label redeemed.
Today Heinz baby food labels can be redeemed to benefit children's
hospitals and Campbell's soup labels can be used to buy school
equipment.  

The kidney dialysis legend may have started with the Betty Crocker
coupon program run by General Mills. Most folks redeemed the
coupons for kitchen utensils and stuff, but beginning in 1969 General
Mills OK'd several fundraising campaigns in which coupons were used to
purchase some 300 kidney dialysis machines. The company soon stopped
dialysis drives due partly to complaints that it was "trading in human
misery." But the idea evidently survived in the public mind, with one
twist: the medium of exchange was somehow switched to pop can pull tabs. 

For more, see:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_077.html

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