Re: go girl

salaam Afdhere, I respectfully disagree. Why suffer through more hours of lecturing or fight back with lecturing. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Actually these type men are typical of all cultures. I remember growing up being taught to elicit this type of monologue to get a man interested. When I was single again in my late thirties,pre Islam, a friend showing me the ropes of how to deal with singles bars challenged me to notice how the men would talk and talk and never ask what we did for a living or show any interest in our interests. Right on, time after time. I am still struggling with my Arab after 11 years because though he was polite and silent, my verbal dominance began to threaten him and he believes I should never contradict him or present a different opinion though he would deny this. And he is a loving sensitive guy who doesn't try to clip my wings . Joyce, be open, keep looking, and hang out with the Fellowship folks, maybe some potential there. Eileen
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Afdhere Jama 
  To: [email protected] 
  Sent: Thursday, March 04, 2004 10:35 AM
  Subject: Re: [Progressivemuslimsnetwork] go girl






  salam, joyce and inas,

  may i say that not all arab men are like that :) and many guys -- arabs included -- deal with women in what they think women want. unfortunately, since feminism "came" out, it has been potrayed (by women, no less) that women do not want the 'sensitive' man. yeah, yeah, i know... some of you will say otherwise... 

  as for lecturing, why not lecture back. if you let a man know that you are not the 'passive' type, then he will back out. but if you keep listening for hours end, then he will think you are the woman that has been potrayed over and over and over again. 

  in the arab world, i know this is hard to believe, women are not passive. when it comes to the private life of the couple, the woman rules. in public, women act passive because the culture allows men to be falsely dominant. it took me a long time to realize that that it is the reverse here (west) for most non-arab women. so bear with the brothers :)

  also, if you gave up on the brothers on couple interractions, what makes you think that you would be better than -- say -- those who expect you to agree to marriage far too soon for your liking? or is it better to let go earlier than to accept earlier, assuming folks "think" they know what is on each account? it is not that i have a problem with you letting go the brothers, if that is truly what you feel is best in your heart. but i wouldn't have a problem with any couple who proposed on the first date, either, if that is what they feel is best.

  i'm just saying reconsider :)

  afdhere


  Afdhere Jama 
  Editorial Director 
  HURIYAH Publications 
  S A N F R A N C I S C O 
  [email protected] 
  http://www.huriyahmag.com

  >From: "inas younis" >Reply-To: [email protected] >To: [email protected] >Subject: Re: [Progressivemuslimsnetwork] go girl >Date: Thu, 04 Mar 2004 08:27:46 -0600 > 


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