RE: Sex and the sanctity of marriage

Salaam,
Good points Taliq - ones I have deliberated over many times before.
To me, it depends on how you read the Quran.  A patriarchal interpretation 
will always give immoral men the answers they want - 'Yes you can have 4 
wives, yes you can divorce as you wish, yes have sex with slaves..etc..'.
A better man will contemplate these issues in a different way, and full 
interpretation will give you different answers.  I think human beings are 
very good judges of morality - what we think is wrong, usually is - even if 
you are not familiar with religious texts.  For most people, polygamy, 
concubinage and easy divorce are all distasteful - and I think that a 
thorough interpretation of Quran will support this attitude.
Polygamy for example was legitimised, but of course it is followed with the 
verses stating that all wives must be treated equally, and that it is 
impossible to do so.  To me this means, that unless exceptional 
circumstances arise, polygamy is not acceptable.  I think that is quite 
simple - and I find it amazing that men believe they can somehow 'trick' God 
by twisting his words to suit their own petty desires.
Divorce is said to be hated by God, but again allowed in exceptional 
circumstances.  Another way in which man has altered the meaning of God's 
words.  We are told that the best men are those who are best to their wives, 
but of course this lovely message is ignored in the majority of cases.

So to me the sanctity of marriage is there - indeed it is called 'half of 
the religion' by the Prophet.
But as usual all the positive messages Islam preaches seem to be mostly 
hidden by misogynistic and negative Quranic interpretations and flimsy 
hadith.

Wa'salaam
aisha


>From: "talib ul-Haq" <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [Progressivemuslimsnetwork] Sex and the sanctity of marriage
>Date: Thu, 04 Mar 2004 16:32:32 +0000
>
>Salaams Everyone,
>
>This may be a bad time to be introducing another topic which is also 
>related to on ogoing discussion that is already generating so much mail.
>
>I am working on the question of Muslim approaches to HIV Aids, including 
>prevention. The sanctity of marriage, be faithful to one partner, etc., are 
>ideas which are helpful in prevention. However, much as I would want to 
>justify and support these notions from an Islamic text perspective, I have 
>difficulty doing so. Polygamy, the ease of divorce, temporary marriage 
>(muta`ah or sighe) and the legitimation of sex with ones slave's seem to go 
>into an opposite direction.
>
>Let me be clear that I am asking how - from the Text of the Qur'an and 
>Sunnah - can we really support ideas of the sanctty of mariage and 
>faithfulness to one partner. The idea of sex only within marriage seems to 
>be one that flies in the face of the Qur'an.
>
>Any thoughts?
>
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