[SwF] Install Love..... Check It Out

aaks shah <aaks_friendofurs-/[email protected]> Fri, 23 Dec 2005 08:47:16 -0800 (PST)
Newsgroups gmane.culture.talk.share-with-friends
Message-ID <[email protected]>
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    How to install this very important program
   
  Customer Service (CS) Rep. : "Yes, Ma'am, how may I help you today?" 
   
  Customer: "Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install LOVE. Can you guide me through the process?" 
   
  CS Rep. : "Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?" 
   
  Customer: "Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?" 
   
  CS Rep. : "The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?" 
   
  Customer: "Yes I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?" 
   
  CS Rep. : "What programs are running ma'am?" 
   
  Customer: "Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now." 
   
  CS Rep. : "No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?" 
   
  Customer: "I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?"
   
  CS Rep. : "My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased." 
   
  Customer: "Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?" 
   
  Cs Rep. : "Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?" 
   
  Customer: "Yes I do. Is it completely installed?" 
   
  Cs Rep. : "Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades." 
   
  Customer: "Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?" 
   
  Cs Rep. : "What does the message say?" 
   
  Customer: "It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS. What does that mean?" 
   
  Cs Rep. : "Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in nontechnical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others." 
   
  Customer: "So what should I do?" 
   
  Cs Rep. : "Can you pull down the directory called"SELFACCEPTANCE"?" 
   
  Customer: "Yes, I have it." 
   
  Cs Rep. : " Excellent. You're getting good at this." 
   
  Customer: "Thank you." 
   
  Cs Rep. : "You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely and permanently gone erased."
   
  Customer: "Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?" 
   
  Cs Rep. : "Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go." 
   
  Customer: "Yes?" 
   
  Cs Rep. : "LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will share it with other people and then return some similarly sacred modules back to you." 
   
  Customer: "I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name?" 
   
  Cs Rep. : " You may call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as The Great Physician, but most call me God. Many people feel all they need is an annual checkup to stay heart-healthy, but the Manufacturer suggests a schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency. Put another way, keep in touch . . ."
  Spread This to As Many People you can And Spread the Most Precious Program God Has Gifted To Us.
   
  
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<DIV id=RTEContent>  <DIV id=RTEContent>  <DIV class=MsoTitle align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 13pt"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>How to install this very important program</STRONG></FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV class=MsoTitle align=justify>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Customer Service (CS) Rep. :</STRONG> "Yes, Ma'am, how may I help you today?" </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O /><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Customer:</STRONG> "Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install LOVE. Can you guide me through the process?" </FO
 NT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY:
 Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>CS Rep. :</STRONG> "Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?" </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Customer:</STRONG> "Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?"&nbsp;</FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>CS Rep.
  :</STRONG> "The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?"
 </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Customer:</STRONG> "Yes I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?" </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>CS Rep. :</STRONG> "What programs are running ma'am?" </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN s
 tyle="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS"
 size=3><STRONG>Customer:</STRONG> "Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now." </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>CS Rep. :</STRONG> "No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?" </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><
 SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>
  <DIV class=MsoNormal align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Customer:</STRONG> "I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?"</FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV class=MsoNormal align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>CS Rep. :</STRONG> "My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased." </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Tr
 ebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Customer:</STRONG> "Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself
 automatically. Is that normal?" </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Cs Rep. :</STRONG> "Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?" </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Customer:</STRONG> "Yes I do. Is it completely installed?" </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&n
 bsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY:
 Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Cs Rep. :</STRONG> "Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades." </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Customer:</STRONG> "Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?" </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Cs Rep. :</STRONG> "What does the message say?" </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align
 =justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY:
 Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Customer:</STRONG> "It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS. What does that mean?" </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV class=MsoNormal align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Cs Rep. :</STRONG> "Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in nontechnical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others." </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV class=MsoN
 ormal align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY:
 Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Customer:</STRONG> "So what should I do?" </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Cs Rep. :</STRONG> "Can you pull down the directory called"SELFACCEPTANCE"?" </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Customer:</STRONG> "Yes, I have it." </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=
 justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY:
 Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Cs Rep. :</STRONG> " Excellent. You're getting good at this." </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Customer:</STRONG> "Thank you." </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV class=MsoNormal align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Cs Rep. :</STRONG> "You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEAR
 T" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system
 will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely and permanently gone erased."</FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV class=MsoNormal align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Customer:</STRONG> "Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?" </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=
 justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet
 MS" size=3><STRONG>Cs Rep. :</STRONG> "Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go." </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Customer:</STRONG> "Yes?" </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Cs Rep. :</STRONG> "LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to
  everybody you meet. They will share it with other people and then return some similarly sacred
 modules back to you." </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Customer:</STRONG> "I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name?" </FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><O:P></O:P></SPAN>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=justify><SPAN style="FONT-SIZE: 11pt; COLOR: windowtext; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" size=3><STRONG>Cs Rep. :</STRONG> " You may call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as The Great Physician, but most call me God. Many people feel all they need is an annual checkup to stay heart-healthy, but the Manufacturer suggests a schedule of daily maintenanc
 e for maximum efficiency. Put another way, keep in touch . . ."</FONT></SPAN></DIV>  <DIV
 align=center><FONT face="Trebuchet MS" color=#ff9900 size=7>Spread This to As Many People you can And Spread the Most Precious Program God Has Gifted To Us.</FONT></DIV>  <DIV align=justify>&nbsp;</DIV>  <DIV align=center><FONT color=#000099><IMG height=53 src="http://mi8.bpcdn.us/bmarv1/abar13.gif" width=429></FONT></DIV>  <DIV align=center><STRONG><FONT face="Times New Roman" size=6></DIV>  <TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 border=0>  <TBODY>  <TR>  <TD><FONT color=#000099><IMG height=122 src="http://img49.exs.cx/img49/2383/Dancer1.gif" width=106></FONT></FONT><EM><FONT face="Arial Black, Geneva, Arial, Sans-serif" size=7>Aakash Shah</FONT></EM><FONT face="Times New Roman" size=6><IMG height=122 src="http://img49.exs.cx/img49/2383/Dancer1.gif" width=106></FONT>   



    
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