☠Re: need your advice

Dear, 


I'm writing an article and I think you can help me with  some issues, please  take a look http://ipisu.ru/progress.php?9e9f


Cheers, Elaine Mcqueen



From: uClinux development list [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, July 13, 2017 12:25 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Brokeback Mountain

I  come from a less conservative country than you and totally agree with  you that teens  your sister's age are  definitely full of hormones. Any unmonitored form of communication will eventually  turn into a  way to  be inappropriate with those  of the  opposite sex  because their  design by  nature is  to have sex. 

So the  issue  isnt really  the phone, it's why she keeps  doing things that she knows are explicitly  wrong. Again i  think this rebellion, especially when growing up in  a conservative  place, is natural. All of the messages being sent by her brain are telling her thats she's attracted to boys  but  all the messages  she's getting  from  her society tell  her that  only bad girls do the things she wants to  do.   She cries when you confront her  because she's  embarassed  and doesnt want you to think less  of her and probably has  no idea how to  talk about things. Ive been  there!!

Without a good mix of communication  and discipline, she will just continue  to feel she's a bad girl and do the things she knows are wrong. Hopefully you  can avoid this by helping  her talk to  someone who wont judge her, understanding  that in  conservative patriarchal  countries, her  dad and  male relatives are probably not the best choices  regardless of how nice they are. Perhaps  a friend of the family, older female  cousin, or an aunt can do it. 


She has to learn that her feelings  of wanting to  do these  things with boys are natural and that  its ok to have those thoughts. But she also has to learn from this trusted person that there are good  reasons why  she can't focus on  those things at this  age of her  life. Texting and sending dirty pictures will make the boy want these things in real life  and might even get her a  reputation that can cause  her harm if people  find out. Her main   focus has to be school so she can continue  the life that she wants to lead and  not be stuck with fewer choices  if she has  to get married early. If she  gets pregnant early in  life, in your country there  may  be  many more repurcussions that she doesnt  want.  

She needs someone  to talk to so  she can talk about her feelings and situation. Who is the boy? When does  she see him? Has she  kissed him? Does she understand  how to respect herself and teach  boys  to respect her back? Does she know how to be liked without giving all  of herself? These are things that would best be discussed with an older female whom she trusts and who  you and  your parents trust to help  her  figure  things  out, 

Finally if  she cant control herself, the phone  has to go.  There has to be  follow  through - you  cant give a 16  year old  girl the message that she cant text or talk to boys but here's a phone and i expect you to magically  behave perfectly now. Privledges  can be earned  but if  shes handed things with minimal effort  she will just get better at  hiding things  from you.


Hope this helps! Good luck!


Sent from Mail for Windows 10

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