Re: THE ANTHEM TO END ALL ANTHEMS

You posted this for the 'medley of our hit' gag, didn't you?

I approve.  ; )

Johne Cook
| http://raygunrevival.com | http://authorculture.blogspot.com |


On Thu, Jan 6, 2011 at 1:32 AM, Peter Chattaway
<petert-LOVM4QxV+tDq6eQxt3vRmLDks+cytr/[email protected]>wrote:

> http://www.steynonline.com/content/view/3629/30
>
> Ten Years Ago
> Sunday, 02 January 2011
>
> A decade ago Moscow observed the turning of the year with a new national
> anthem by the author of the old national anthem. This guy's life was really
> one unending medley of his greatest hit. This number deserves a Song of the
> Week entry all its own, but in the meantime here's what I had to say in The
> National Post in one of my first columns of 2001:
>
> Undoubtedly, the highlight of New Year's Eve was the first performance of
> the new Russian national anthem, which is the old Soviet anthem but with new
> words. What impressed me most about the new lyrics was the author: Sergei
> Mikhalkov. The same guy who wrote the old lyrics! And the lyrics for the
> version before that! Comrade Mikhalkov's first shot at the national anthem
> was in 1943, when he wrote it as a paean to his then mentor, Joe Stalin.
> Then, after Khrushchev had Stalin airbrushed out of the group photos,
> Mikhalkov was told to write some new words: wary of hymning any more
> here-today-gone-tomorrow dictators, Comrade Mikhalkov eschewed any odes to
> Khrushchev (very wisely) and the rest of the gang in favour of rhapsodizing
> the more general virtues of communism:
>
>   "Sing to the Motherland, home of the free
>   Bulwark of peoples in brotherhood strong
>   O Party of Lenin, the strength of the people
>   To Communism's triumph lead us on!"
>
> But times change and, when Vladimir Putin said Russia needed yet another
> rewrite, the 87-year-old Mikhalkov did his duty. After the "My kind of guy,
> Joe Stalin is" version and the "Commie, fly with me" version, Mikhalkov had
> no problem rustling up another set of verses for the "new" Russia. Let's
> see: no passing strongmen, no explicit political philosophy, best to keep it
> general ...
>
>   "Be glorious, our country!
>   We are proud of you!
>   From the southern seas to the polar north
>   Our forests and fields spread
>   You are unique in the world, inimitable ..."
>
> I'll tell you who's uniquely inimitable: Comrade Sergei. What a survivor!
> He could do an entire "And then I wrote ..." evening with just the one song:
> "And now Sergei Mikhalkov performs a medley of his hit." Is there no subject
> he can't set to that tune? Go on, give him a call. "Hey, Sergei, love that
> melody! But I'm opening in Vegas and I'd love a couple of topical verses
> about Hillary's new book deal."
>
> The wily old thing popped up on state television last week, and I thought
> we might get a little insight into his songwriting methods: "You know, when
> people ask, 'What comes first? The words or the music?', I always say: the
> regime!" But, instead, the Berlin of the Bolsheviks waxed philosophical:
> "The country is now different," he shrugged. "Russia has moved along its own
> path." He insisted he didn't miss his earlier lyrics: This was one red who
> ain't singing the blues. "What I have written now is very close to my heart.
> I wrote what I believe." Really? Pinned to his lapel was one of his four
> Orders of Lenin.
>
> His first version - the Stalin one - was dismissed by a famous Russian
> actor as "shit." "So what?" said Mikhalkov. "When they play it, you'll still
> have to stand up." The second version - the post-Stalin one - was dismissed
> by the dissident poet Yevgeny Yevtushenko as "feeble." "Go home and learn
> it," Mikhalkov said. And now we have the third version. It's not "shit,"
> it's not "feeble," but in its generalities and its determination to avoid
> anything other than topographical pleasantries it does ring oddly
> "Canadian."
>
> Anyway, I can spot a trend as well as the next chap. A year ago in Britain,
> the New Year smasheroo was the Number One record by veteran popster Cliff
> Richard comprising the words of the Lord's Prayer sung to the tune of Auld
> Lang Syne. And before that we were all singing the tune of Candle In The
> Wind with new words about the late Princess of Wales. And before that Canada
> got the ball rolling, when the CBC deemed The Maple Leaf Forever too
> bloodcurdling and Britocentric and ordered up a rewrite. In place of Wolfe
> the dauntless hero planting firm Britannia's flag - not firm enough, alas -
> the new lyric by a Romanian immigrant, Vladimir Radian, celebrated the "blue
> unending skies" and "emerald fields." Not a lot of verdant sods in Hamilton
> or Iqaluit, but it's the way to go if you don't wish to give offence.
>
> So, with that in mind, now is surely the time to attend to the deficiencies
> in our own national anthem. Unlike the CBC, I went straight to the experts.
> First, Cliff Richard. Any pop singer who can get to Number One by putting
> the Lord's Prayer to Auld Lang Syne would surely have no difficulties
> finding a new lyric for O Canada. "No problem," said Sir Cliff. "I always
> sing the words of Mambo #5 to O Canada. Works a treat. Just replace the 'O
> Canadas' with 'A little bit' and everything else falls into place:
>
>   'A little bit
>   Of Mon'ca in my life
>   A little bit
>   Of Er'ca by my side
>   A-a little bit
>   O-of Rita's all
>   I-I need a little bit
>   O-of Tina's what ...'
>
> The kids love it. It just makes the whole patriotism bag so much more
> relevant to them ..."
>
> Well, I wasn't entirely persuaded, so I called Elton John. Elt's taken a
> great interest in Canada ever since he met his current partner, David
> Furnish, of Toronto. "You know," he said, "putting new words to an old tune
> can touch an entire generation. Immediately you called, I thought of
> Canada's tragic youthful icon and his premature demise. And funnily enough I
> happened to have a tune sitting around that seemed to fit him like an opera
> cloak. Stop me if you've heard this one before ...
>
>   'Goodbye, Ottawa's rose
>   Though I never knew you at all
>   I met you in the Seventies
>   Backstage at Massey Hall ...
>   And it seems to me you lived your life
>   Up in Canada in the wind
>   Never knowing who to cling to --
>   Margot or Streisind
>   And I would have liked to know you
>   But I was not a Kidder
>   Your Canada burned out long before
>   Your legend ever did-a ..."
>
> Well, it wasn't exactly what I was looking for, and the more I thought
> about it the more I came back to Sergei Milkhalkov. It would be great if
> Robert Stanley Weir, lyricist of O Canada, was still around to update his
> text every generation ("Hey, you know where I went wrong first time round?
> Not enough 'stand on guards'!") but since he's not, why not offer Mikhalkov
> the gig? So I called him up in Moscow. It took a while to get through, as
> Putin was using the outside line, but eventually I got hold of Sergei and
> told him we needed a new lyric to reflect the many changes in Canadian
> society since the old discredited O Canada was written. He was happy to
> oblige, but asked if I'd mind dictating the original lyric down the phone,
> so off I went. It was a very bad line.
>
> "Excellent!" he said. "Let me just check I heard it all correctly:
>
>   'O Canada
>   Our home on natives' land
>   Strict Fed'ral laws
>   In all thy guns command
>   With glowing parts
>   We see thee rise
>   The true north strong and free ...'
>
> I take it that's a reference to government-funded Viagra?"
>
> "Er ..."
>
> "And then it goes:
>
>   'And Stan's on guard
>   O Canada
>   We've Stan on guard for thee ...'
>
> Presumably, you are alluding to the renowned vigilance of your famous
> Commissar of Public Works at Walkerton, Mr. Stan Koebel. Excellent fellow.
> Wish we'd had him at Chernobyl, keeping things low-key until it's all blown
> over. To Bulgaria."
>
> "In fact, it's not St..."
>
> "And what a finale!
>
>   'Our hospital's
>   Glorious and free!
>   O Canada
>   We've Stan on guard for thee!
>   O Canada
>   We've Stan on guard for thee!"
>
> He paused. "You know," he said, "I never thought I'd say this, but I
> wouldn't change a word."
>
>
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