Re: [image added] [EN] August Newsletter

Hi all,

we have added one more picture with a caption in the newsletter:

https://webpreview.fsfe.org/cgi/fsfe.pl?pad=1251

I already added it in the ES version> 
https://webpreview.fsfe.org/cgi/fsfe.pl?pad=1252

And thanks to Richard for his proofread.

Best,

Ana

On 8/3/24 21:00, Richard L. Schmeidler wrote:
> Thank you.  Before I get to the proofreading, I have a scheduling
> question.  It seems that the custom is to send the monthly newsletter
> out for proofreading and translation on Friday.  If I assume that my
> English-language proofreading won't be read in Berlin until Monday
> morning, that gives me the whole weekend to work on it.  My question
> is whether anyone is interested in seeing my proofreading efforts
> earlier than Monday morning in Europe (the middle of the night in the
> US).
>
> =====
>
> I am attaching a version of the xhtml you attached that reflects my
> suggestions for improvements.
>
>
> 1.  "The EC is planning to cut its funding to NGI projects while in
> Belgium, the court is supporting end-user’s Router Freedom rights."
> As written, this says that what happened in Belgium is that the EU is
> planning on the funding cut.  It says nothing about the location of
> the court decision.  Two corrections are needed.
>
> (a)  Insert a comma after "projects."
>
> (b)  Remove the comma after "Belgium."
>
> (c)  I suggest replacing "the court is supporting" with "a court has
> supported."  There are many courts in Belgium; this court is not the
> only one.  My suggestion conforms this summary to the text.
>
> (d)  Replace "end-user’s" with "end-users' ".   The plural form.
>
> 2.  "We also submitted feedback on the NIS2 implementation, learnt
> about Linqa, a Free Software platform developed with public money and
> gathered with volunteers at the Summer Meeting."
>
> (a)  Insert a semicolon after "money."  Not only is this an "Oxford
> semicolon" consistent with the usage in this newsletter, but it makes
> the structure of the sentence clearer.  (The insertion has to be of a
> semicolon, rather than a comma, because this item in the list already
> contains a comma.  So the list has to become a semicolon-separated
> list.)
>
> (b)  If the suggestion in (a) is followed, replace the comma after
> "implementation" with a semicolon.
>
> 3.  Table of contents:  "NIS2: Protecting Free Software ecosystem in
> implementation"  See my #7, below.  If that suggestion is followed,
> the corresponding change should be made here.
>
> 4.  "President EU Commission"  I suggest inserting "of the" after
> "President."  Isn't that her proper title in English?
>
> 5.  "Join us in FrOSCon"  See my #13, below.  If that suggestion is
> followed, the corresponding change should be made here.
>
> 6.  "Another way is by supporting us with a donation so we can
> continue advocating for Software Freedom."  I suggest replacing
> "Software Freedom" with "software freedom."  The FSFE custom is to use
> initial capitals when the phrase "Free Software" appears in text, but
> not to use initial capitals when the phrase "software freedom" appears
> in text.
>
> 7.  Heading:  "NIS2: Protecting Free Software ecosystem in
> implementation"  I suggest inserting "the" before "ecosystem."
> English usage, and see the text.
>
> If this suggestion is followed, the corresponding change should be
> made in the Table of contents.  See my #3, above.
>
> 8.  "Together with NLnet Labs and the Open Source Security Foundation,
> the Free Software Foundation Europe (FSFE) submitted feedback on the
> NIS2 implementation act, pointing to the need of protecting the
> European Free Software ecosystem."
>
> (a)  I suggest replacing "Free Software Foundation Europe (FSFE)" with
> "FSFE."  To give the full name of the organization here seems
> unnecessary, where the abbreviation has been used earlier and is also
> consistently used elsewhere.
>
> (b)  I suggest replacing "implementation act" with "Implementation
> Act."  You know EU usage better than I do, but if this is the name of
> legislation (and a cursory search suggests that it is) it is customary
> to use initial capitals at least for every important word in the name.
>
> (c)  I suggest replacing "of protecting" with "to protect."  "Of
> protecting" isn't wrong, but I think that use of the infinitive is
> more natural.
>
> 9.  "Linqa is a bilingual collaboration platform whose code is Free
> Software and developed using public money."  Insert "was" before
> developed.  English usage.
>
> 10.  "one of the MirageOS core developer"  I suggest replacing
> "developer" with "developers."  (If he is the only developer, the
> proper correction is to remove "one of.")
>
> 11.  "for a weekend full of surprises, talks and workshops"  Insert an
> Oxford comma after "talks."
>
> 12.  "Once again, we will be this August attending FrOSCon in Sankt
> Augustin."  I suggest rewriting as "Once again, this August we will be
> attending FrOSCon in Sankt Augustin."  English usage.  (Other
> variations are possible.)
>
> 13.  Heading:  "Join us in FrOSCon"  I suggest replacing "in" with
> "at."  English usage.
>
> If this suggestion is followed, the corresponding change should be
> made in the Table of contents.  See my #5, above.
>
> 12.  "join them on 16 August!."  Remove the final period [full stop].
> (It would be possible to remove the exclamation point instead, but I
> assume that the exclamation was a deliberate choice.)
>
>
> On Fri, Aug 2, 2024 at 9:40 AM Ana Galan <[email protected]> wrote:
>> Dear all,
>>
>> August newsletter is ready for your proofread and translation:
>>
>> https://webpreview.fsfe.org/cgi/fsfe.pl?pad=1251
>>
>> you can also find it attached.
>>
>> As you can see, we are missing a picture that will be added next week
>> before sending it. We will send it, if all works, on Tuesday noon.
>>
>> Best,
>>
>> Ana
>>
>> --
>> Ana Galan - Senior Project Manager Communications
>> Free Software Foundation Europe
>> Schönhauser Allee 6/7, 10119 Berlin, Germany | t:+49 157 92 34 72 12
>> Registered at Amtsgericht Hamburg, VR 17030  |(fsfe.org/support)
>> _______________________________________________
>> Translators mailing list -- [email protected]
>> To unsubscribe send an email to [email protected]
>>
>> This mailing list is covered by the FSFE's Code of Conduct. All
>> participants are kindly asked to be excellent to each other:
>> https://fsfe.org/about/codeofconduct
>
>
> --
> "The problem with quotes on the internet is that it is difficult to
> determine whether or not they are genuine." -- Abraham Lincoln

-- 
Ana Galan - Senior Project Manager Communications
Free Software Foundation Europe
Schönhauser Allee 6/7, 10119 Berlin, Germany | t:+49 157 92 34 72 12
Registered at Amtsgericht Hamburg, VR 17030  |(fsfe.org/support)

_______________________________________________
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To unsubscribe send an email to [email protected]

This mailing list is covered by the FSFE's Code of Conduct. All
participants are kindly asked to be excellent to each other:
https://fsfe.org/about/codeofconduct