[proofread] [EN] January newsletter

Thank you.  I have proofread the file you sent (using LibreOffice), and I
am attaching my version with my suggestions. My file is in .odt format to
get the benefit of highlighting my suggestions with the LibreOffice Track
Changes feature.  I find this very convenient, and I hope you will too.

I hope that this will reach you in time to work on it on Friday, with a
weekend coming up before the publication date.

I am cc-ing the translators, because you have sent them the current
webpreview version.  I have not checked whether there are variations
between the xhtml file you sent me and the more recent webpreview.

This is perhaps a good time to repeat my warning to everyone that if there
is a discrepancy between the prose descriptions of my suggestions below and
my attached .odt file, it is probable that the suggestions are correct and
the attachment is wrong.  I must also remind the translators that what I am
writing here are just suggestions, and they must be reviewed by Ana before
you can rely on them.


1.  I suggest replacing "for" with the numeral "4."  I believe that the
competition is more usually described this way.  That is also the way the
competition is described in the Table of Contents and the text of this
newsletter.

2.  Table of Contents:  'Ready for FOSDEM? Join our “Legal & Policy isuses”
and “Funding the FOSS Ecosystem” devrooms'  Replace "isuses" with "issues."

3.  "The FSFE demands broader interoperability against Apple"  I suggest
replacing "broader interoperability against Apple" with "that Apple provide
broader interoperability."  "Demands . . . against" is not good English
usage.  Also in my #10, below.

4.  "Back to the stages!Past events from our community"  Insert a space
after the exclamation point.  This problem does not occur in the text.

5.  " - Sofía Aritz, 2024 YH4F winner-"  I suggest removing the short dash
at the end.  The short dash at the beginning introduces the source of the
quotation.  The short dash at the end serves no function, and detracts from
this function of the short dash at the beginning, making the two dashes
appear to be a pair.

6.  "What the past 20 years working for the Free Software Foundation Europe
have taught me is to be prepared for the things you cannot predict.While
predicting the future is always hard, we know what we are aiming to
accomplish in the long run <http:///news/2025/news-20250103-01.html> "

(a)  Insert a space at the end of the sentence after "predict."

(b)  Put the period (full stop) at the end of the quotation inside the
quotation.

(c)  I suggest attributing the quotation to Matthias Kirschner:  "-
Matthias Kirschner, President, Free Software Foundation Europe."  While
there is a link to the news item, not all readers will follow the link.

7.  "FOSDEM 2025 is around the corner and its schedule is out!"  I suggest
inserting a link to the schedule, since the schedule is out, rather than
requiring readers to conduct a search.  https://fosdem.org/2025/schedule/

8.  "For the fifth consecutive year, and in its 13th edition, the FSFE,
together with our co-hosts, is proud to organize the Legal and Policy
Issues devroom <https://fosdem.org/2025/schedule/track/legal-and-policy/>
"  I suggest clarifying what is in its 13th edition.  My best guess (and I
am not attempting to conduct the necessary research to confirm this, is
that this devroom is what is in its 13th edition.  So I suggest removing
"and in its 13th edition" and the comma that follows it.  Instead, insert
the following after this entire sentence:  "This devroom is now in its 13th
edition."   If that is not correct, please do not use my suggestion, but
you might want to rewrite to provide the correct information.  (As it
stands, it is hard to tell what "its" refers to.  If one looks to the
previous text, this would say that FOSDEM is in its 13th edition.  If one
does as is sometimes necessary and looks ahead in the same sentence, this
would say that the FSFE is in its 13th edition.)

9.  "This year, for the first time, we are also contributing to the
organization of the *Funding the FOSS Ecosystem
<https://fosdem.org/2025/schedule/track/funding/>* devroom."  I suggest
removing "for the first time" and the comma that follows it.  Yes, you are
doing it for the first time.  But the very next sentence says that this is
the debut of this devroom.  How could this not be the first time?

10. Heading:  "The FSFE demands broader interoperability against Apple"  I
suggest replacing "broader interoperability against Apple" with "that Apple
provide broader interoperability."  "Demands . . . against" is not good
English usage.  Also in my #3, above.

11. "In parallel to the litigation efforts against Apple, the FSFE
continues to collaborate with the Commission and other stakeholders in the
implementation of the DMA."

(a)  I suggest that you insert a link or links (of your choice) to inform
your readers about these efforts.  Some of your readers are not employees
or volunteers for the FSFE who are familiar with everything that the FSFE
is doing.

(b)  I suggest that you insert "European" before "Commission."  There are
other commissions than this very important one.

12.  "The FSFE is part of a comprehensive study on how Apple's
interoperability policies negatively affects Free Software."

(a)  I suggest replacing "part of" with "participating in."  I do not know
what you intend to say, but the FSFE is not a part of a study.  The FSFE is
a charity organized under the laws of Germany.  Since you haven't provided
a link to the study, I cannot tell from this sentence what the relationship
of the FSFE is to the study.  Is it the author, one of several authors, a
contributor, a subject of the study, or something else?  In ignorance, I am
suggesting something that I hope will be sufficiently neutral.

(b)  Replace "affects" with "affect."  English grammar.  The subject of the
verb is "policies," which is plural, so a plural verb is required.

13.  "The study was accepted to a conference in Washington DC
<https://kgi.georgetown.edu/events/dma-and-beyond-conference/> organised by
the renowned Knight-Georgetown Institute and Yale University."

(a)  I suggest replacing "was" with "has been."  "Was" is not incorrect,
but "has been" is better English usage.  While the acceptance took place in
the past, its effects are stretching into the future.

(b)  Replace "to" with "by."  Englislh usage.

(c)  I suggest inserting "to be held" after "conference."  The sentence as
it stands indicates that the conference has already been held.

14.  Besides, the FSFE is working together with Art. 19 and other civil
society organisations to submit a position for the Commission's public
consultation on Apple's compliance measures regarding interoperability of
the DMA."

(a)  I suggest removing "Art. 19 and."  What does it mean to say "the FSFE
is working together with Art. 19"?  Is Art. 19 some other organization?  If
you mean that this effort relates to Art. 19 of some document, (as we in
the US refer to amendments to our Constitution by number) that is not what
this sentence says, and you should rewrite to clarify.

(b)  I suggest replacing "of" with "required by."  As I understand the
matter, there are requirements of interoperability in the DMA.  Apple
should comply with these.  But there is no interoperability "of the DMA"
with anything.

15.  "we talked with three participants from he last edition: Vinícius,
Simon <http:///news/2024/news-20241211-01.en.html>, and Sofia, which was
also one of the 2024 winners <http:///news/2025/news-20250107-01.html>."

(a)  Replace "he" with "the."

(b)  Replace "which" with "who."  English grammar.  If Sofia were an AI,
"which" would be the perfect thing to say.  However, I believe that Sofia
is human.  8-)

(c)  Remove "also."  As it stands, the sentence says that all three of
these participants were winners.  I believe that this is not the case.  See
https://fsfe.org/news/2024/news-20241027-01.en.html

16.  "On 9 January the competition kicked off with its opening event in
which participants got all the information about the contest and were
solving their questions, while learning some tips from former winners."

(a)  I suggest removing "all the."  It seems to me a stretch to indicate
that nothing useful could have been left out.  But it's your newsletter.

(b)  I suggest replacing "were solving their questions" with "their
questions were answered."  English usage.  Questions are "answered" (or
sometimes "resolved," if they are more in the nature of concerns than
inquiries).  Problems, puzzles, and riddles are solved.

17.  "with a booth, several talks and a lot of stickers."  Insert an Oxford
comma after "talks."  The Oxford comma is generally used in this
newsletter, and there is no reason to be inconsistent; I shall not repeat
this comment.

18.   "merging aspects of Free Software, Open Data and Open Hardware."
Insert an Oxford comma after "Data."

19.  "The hearing focused on the use of Free Software for the public
administration."  Remove the last occurrence of "the" (before "public").
English usage.

20.  "In his speech for the position of the FSFE
<https://media.fsfe.org/w/cMMF6DCiLB9RncdL46KCNb>, Alexander Sander,
highlighted the importance of funding for Free Software"  Remove the comma
after "Sander."  English grammar.  It is very unusual to have a single
comma separating the subject of a sentence from the verb.

21.  "The hearing focused on the use of Free Software for the public
administration."  Remove the last occurrence of "the" (before "public").
English usage.

22.  "and find out what the overall take on the hearing is!"  I suggest
replacing "out what the overall take on the hearing is" with "our take on
the hearing."

(a)  "Take," as used here, is a rather informal word for an assessment.
Inherent in it is the idea that it is somebody's assessment, in this case
yours or the FSFE's.  There is never just one "the take."

(b)  Similarly, "take" implies a summary assessment, rather than a detailed
analysis.  It is unnecessary to say "overall."

(c)  I have suggested a little rewriting for simplicity.

23.  "Join us in our celebrations of this year's I Love Free Software Day:
Hidden projects on the 14th of February."  Replace "projects" with
"Projects."  Capitalization is required because "projects" is part of the
title (here, part of the subtitle) of the occasion.  This correction should
also be made on the ILFS activities page, when it is updated.  If you
really don't want to capitalize "projects" you should not capitalize
"Hidden," either.

24.  "this year we focus on Free Software projects, that are part of our
daily lives but are hardly spoken about." Remove the comma after
"projects."  English grammar.  A comma doesn't belong here.

25.  "many local group event swill be happening"  Replace "event swill"
with "events will."

26.  "which provides organisational tips, slides for presentations and fun
games to play during the event."  Insert an Oxford comma after
"presentations."

27.  "If you want to stay quite and cosy at home there are several ways to
participate in this year's celebrations you can: create a sharepic
<https://sharepic.fsfe.org/>, toot and tweet online, or send a postcard
<http:///contribute/spreadtheword.en.html#ilovefs> with a thank you message
to your favourite Free Software."

(a)  I suggest replacing "quite" with "quiet."  I that that this is what
you intend.  If you do intend "quite," you should remove "and" as a matter
of English usage.

(b)  Insert a period (full stop) after "celebrations" and capitalize
"you."  It is clear that two sentences have been run together.

(c)  I suggest removing the colon.  It complicates the sentence quite
unnecessarily,

(d)  Insert an Oxford comma after "toot."

(e)  I suggest replacing the last occurrence of "and" with "or."  As
written, this instructs the reader to do all three activities.  Wouldn't
doing just one be good?

28.  Heading:  "FSFE Women* Meetings"

(a)  The listing for this heading in the Table of Contents lacks the
asterisk.  I am not choosing a correction to suggest to deal with this
inconsistency, but there should be one.

(b)  I do not understand the asterisk.  It does not relate to a footnote.
Is "Women*" a new way of referring to women, perhaps to include those who
identify as wormen, either fully or partially?  Since I do not understand
this, I am not suggesting any changes, either here or where the asterisk
recurs in "Women*" and in "QWLINTA*."

29.  "On 20 January, the FSFE Women’s meeting will have the presence of
Melanie Bartos, who will explain who led the initiative to establish a
Mastodon instance and a Fediverse presence at the University of
Innsbruck."  I suggest replacing "On 20 January, the FSFE Women’s meeting
will have the presence of Melanie Bartos, who will explain who led" with
"On 20 January at the FSFE Women’s meeting, Melanie Bartos will describe."
This suggested rearrangement and revision deals with several issues of
English usage.  I do not have time to go into them in detail.  But it seems
unlikely that her presentation will be limited to saying who led the effort.

30.  "Join the online meeting <http:///events/events.html#event-20250120-01>
to find out more about how the University of Innstruck uses, designs and
promotes of non-profit, privacy-friendly and Free Software media and the
role of Melanie Bartos in it."

(a)  Replace "Innstruck" with "Innsbruck."

(b)  Insert an Oxford comma after "designs."

(c)  Remove the second occurrence of "of" (after "promotes").

(d)  Insert an Oxford comma after "privacy-friendly."

(e)  I suggest removing "in it."  It is not clear to me what the antecedent
of "it" is.  The University?  Or perhaps the activities?  The easy solution
is the omission of this phrase.

31.  "in the movement.If you are planning to come, please fill in this form
<https://share.fsfe.org/apps/forms/s/c5Pk6iNB482fJZ76mHDsDenz> so we can
reserve an appropriate space according with our group needs."

(a)  Insert a space between these two sentences.

(b)  Replace "with" with "to."  English usage.

(c)  I suggest removing "group" as unnecessary.  Moreover, there may be
other needs that are not those of the group.   For example, there may be an
expense relating to the breakfast that will be met by the FSFE.

32.  Sub-heading:  "Save the date: Public Money, Public Code! symposium"
This is now under the heading "FSFE Women* Meetings."  I think that it
deserves its own heading and its own entry in the Table of Contents, but I
am not putting in the details of either suggestion.

33.  "The symposium will be held in German and you can find more info in
events.fsfe.org <http:///events/events.html#event-20250408-01>."

(a)  I suggest replacing the highly informal "info" with "information" or
"about this."  But it's your newsletter.

(b)  I suggest replacing the last occurrence of "in" with "at."

(c)  The information does not seem to be on the activities page yet, which
may be why you have not included a more specific link (which would surely
be more useful).

34.  "Volunteers from Greece organized at the end of December an event for
the freshmen students"  I suggest rewriting as "At the end of December,
volunteers from Greece organized an event . . ."  English usage.

35.  "The event attended by about 40 enthusiastic students, consisted on
introductory lecture on GNU/Linux"

(a)  I suggest inserting a comma after "event."  English grammar.  It is
very unusual to have a single comma separating the subject of a sentence
from the verb.  Adding a comma is one way to resolve the error.

(b)  Replace the first occurrence of "on" (after "consisted") with "of
an."  English usage.

36.  "hosted a 'Upcycling your Android'
<http:///activities/upcyclingandroid/index.html> workshop."  Replace "a"
with "an."  "Upcycling" begins with a vowel sound.

37.  "to be able to get rid of by default apps and install a Free Software
environment."  I suggest replacing "by default apps" with "unwanted apps
that had been installed by default."  There are usage issues here, but also
it seems to me that it is just possible that some apps that have been
installed by default may be useful.

38.  There is a list of tags at the end of the document which includes "I
love Free Software".  I would expect "love" to be capitalized.  But this is
a technical matter of which I am ignorant, so I am not suggesting a change.

39.  "Collage with a picture from FSFE booth from FOSDEM 24, the fosdem
logo and a picture from a I Love FS challenge. Also there is an
illustration with the YH4F characters and in the left bottom corner, a
picture with the 38c3 name."

40.  In the xhtml file you sent me, the alt caption for the one picture is
"Collage with a picture from FSFE booth from FOSDEM 24, the fosdem logo and
a picture from a I Love FS challenge. Also there is an illustration with
the YH4F characters and in the left bottom corner, a picture with the 38c3
name."  Of course, I cannot put these suggestions into my attachment.

(a)  Insert "the" before "FSFE."

(b)  I suggest replacing "fosdem" with "FOSDEM."

(c)  Replace the third occurrence of "a" with "an."

(d)  Replace "is" (before "an illustration") with "are."


On Thu, Jan 9, 2025 at 7:53 AM Ana Galan <[email protected]> wrote:

> Hi Richard,
>
> as promised, the newsletter that we will publish next Tuesday.
>
> As our translators list is not working properly and mails take 2-3 days
> to reach out, you might get a second mail about it.
>
> Best and thanks a lot!
>
> Ana
>
> --
>


-- 
"The problem with quotes on the internet is that it is difficult to
determine whether or not they are genuine." -- Abraham Lincoln

_______________________________________________
Translators mailing list -- [email protected]
To unsubscribe send an email to [email protected]

This mailing list is covered by the FSFE's Code of Conduct. All
participants are kindly asked to be excellent to each other:
https://fsfe.org/about/codeofconduct