Re: [proofread] [EN] January newsletter

"Richard L. Schmeidler" <[email protected]>
Newsgroups gmane.org.fsf.europe.translators
Message-ID <CAKbK2ax+mNf73dqWMabjXcuCVywDhYj_NUN-+254C8WFFd5PhA@mail.gmail.com>
Less than 24 hours ago, I wrote you with my suggestions for the version of
the January newsletter that you had sent me privately.  You subsequently
sent a webpreview version to the Translators List.

I wrote

>
> I am cc-ing the translators, because you have sent them the current
> webpreview version.  I have not checked whether there are variations
> between the xhtml file you sent me and the more recent webpreview.
>

I have now compared the xhtml file you sent me with the xhtml generated
from the current version of the webpreview.  The only differences seem to
be in one paragraph.

The newsletter text in the version you sent me is "Join us for this
informal and relaxed meeting to connect with other QWLINTA*s around you and
discuss Free Software and how to create a more welcoming space for
QWLINTA*s in the movement. If you are planning to come, please fill in this
form <https://share.fsfe.org/apps/forms/s/c5Pk6iNB482fJZ76mHDsDenz> so we
can reserve an enough space at the restaurant."

My suggestion for the last portion of this paragraph was:

          31.  "in the movement.If you are planning to come, please fill in
this form <https://share.fsfe.org/apps/forms/s/c5Pk6iNB482fJZ76mHDsDenz> so
we can reserve an appropriate space
          according with our group needs."

         (a)  Insert a space between these two sentences.

         (b)  Replace "with" with "to."  English usage.

         (c)  I suggest removing "group" as unnecessary.  Moreover, there
may be other needs that are not those of the group.
         For example, there may be an expense relating to the breakfast
that will be met by the FSFE.

My suggestion for the text of the paragraph was:  "Join us for this
informal and relaxed meeting to connect with other QWLINTA*s around you and
discuss Free Software and how to create a more welcoming space for
QWLINTA*s in the movement. If you are planning to come, please fill in this
form <https://share.fsfe.org/apps/forms/s/c5Pk6iNB482fJZ76mHDsDenz> so we
can reserve an appropriate space according to our needs."

The text of this paragraph in the webpreview is "Join us for this informal
and relaxed meeting to connect with other QWLINTA*s around you and discuss
Free Software and how to create a more welcoming space for QWLINTA*s in the
movement. If you are planning to come, please fill in this form
<https://share.fsfe.org/apps/forms/s/c5Pk6iNB482fJZ76mHDsDenz> so we can
reserve an enough space at the restaurant."

I am writing now to suggest a change to this version in the webpreview:

31.5.  Remove "an" (before "enough").

-- 
"The problem with quotes on the internet is that it is difficult to
determine whether or not they are genuine." -- Abraham Lincoln

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