Re: [needs translation] March newsletter

Thank you.

I have proofread the newsletter.  I am attaching a version with my
suggestions.  It is an odt file of the html you attached, in that format so
that my changes will be identified with the Track Changes feature.

1.  Title:  "Legal Corner+++ FOSDEM recap+++ Ada in Spanish"  I suggest
inserting "movie" after "Ada."  See my #3, below.

2.  "We were happy to see pictures from the 'I love Free Software Day'
celebrations and can't wait to meet you in CLT 2025!"

(a)  I suggest replacing " 'I love Free Software Day' " with "I Love Free
Software Day" (removing the single quotation marks, and capitalizing an
additional word.  See my #16 and #17(a), and my #17(b) below.  General
consistency would be desirable.

(b)  I suggest replacing "in" with "at."  I see that in a similar context
"at" is used when attendance at FOSDEM is discussed.  (That the preposition
"in" is used in the phrase "participating in" is due to the English usage
of the verb "participate"; English usage is to refer to attendance "at" an
event.)

3.  "We are organising an online Q&A session about the DMA and Free
Software, and Ada is finally available in Spanish!"  I suggest replacing
the comma with a period (full stop) and replacing "and Ada" with "The Ada
movie."  "Ada" can refer to (among other things) a nineteenth-century
British noblewoman, a twentieth-century computer language, a book
(originally in German, now available in several languages), a movie based
on the book (also available in several languages), and a character in the
book and movie.  I note that in this newsletter, "Ada" is used in several
of these ways, including to refer to the movie (here), to refer to the
character (in "Ada's Workshop"), and as an element of the title of the
book.  Often the intention is clear, but the July newsletter reported that
the book was being printed in Spanish and distributed by the Volkswagen
Group in Spain, so it should be made clear that this month's news is about
the movie.  [This formulation makes the teazer longer, but still under 350
characters.]

4.  Image alt caption:  "from the attendees perspective."  Replace
"attendees" with "attendees' ".  The possessive form of the plural is
necessary.

5.  Table of contents:  "*I Love Free Software Day 2025’ celebrations*
<https://webpreview.fsfe.org/cgi/fsfe.pl?pad=1373#ilovefs>"  Remove the
extraneous apostrophe (or unmatched single quotation mark, if that is what
it is).  See my #16, below.  General consistency would be desirable.

6.  "Diversity is specially important because it will ensure"  I suggest
replacing "specially" with "especially."  The two words have quite distinct
meanings in English.  Of course, if this is a quotation of something that
was originally written in English, it should not be corrected.

7.  "under the tittle"  Replace "tittle" with "title."

8.  "we suggest you to also listen to the episode 30
<https://fsfe.org/news/podcast/episode-30.html>"

(a)  Replace "you to" with "that you."  English usage.

(b)  Remove "the."  English usage.

9.  "an alternative iOSmarketplace that exclusively distributes Free
Software applications"  I suggest inserting a space between "iOS" and
"marketplace."

10.  "The project's goal is to promote a more accessible and inclusive Free
Software ecosystem, also in iOS"

(a)  I suggest removing the comma.  I do not see what function the comma
serves, and the sentence makes more sense to me without it.

(b)  I suggest removing "also."  Again, I do not see a comparison to some
other ecosystem.  (I presume that the comparison is to Windows, but it
might also be to Unix or to Android and perhaps other places.)

(c)  Insert a period (full stop) at the end of the sentence.

11.  "If your software project operates on multiple contributions"  I
suggest replacing "operates on" with "has."  English usage.  To say that a
project operates on multiple contributions means that it does something to
the contributions.   (We say, in particular, that a surgeon operates on a
patient, or operates on a burst appendix.)

12.  "Here we’ll discuss"  Replace "we'll" with "we"  "We'll" is a
contraction of "We will" or "We shall" and indicates that something is to
be happening in the future.  This item has already been published.

13.  I suggest inserting a new paragraph at the end of this item (after the
instruction to check out the article).  'This is the first article in a new
series, "Legal Corner".'  This fact is important enough that "Legal Corner"
is the first item in this month's title.  This fact is important enough
that publication of the first Legal Corner article is the first news of the
month mentioned in the teaser.  I think that this fact should also appear
in the text of the newsletter.  If you don't want to put it somewhere else,
I suggest putting it here.

[Incidentally, that article was never submitted to me for proofreading.
For all that I am not actively engaged in the practice of law, am not a
European lawyer, and am not a member of the FSFE's Legal Network, I mght
still be competent to proofread this material.]

14.  "The *Ada & Zangemann - A Tale of Software, Skateboards, and Raspberry
Ice Cream* movie is now available in Spanish
<https://media.fsfe.org/w/mPiL4nzoJ21gWiG4JHLATf>!"  I suggest moving
"movie" from its present place after the title to be the second word of the
sentence, just before the title.  English usage.

15.  "Help us to spread the word about the movie so in future young people
have the opportunity to tinker, experiment and code with Free Software as
the default"

(a)  I suggest inserting "the" before "future."  "In future" is a British
usage, with a slightly different meaning.

(b)  I suggest inserting an Oxford comma after "experiment."  The Oxford
comma is used elsewhere in this newsletter.

(c)  Insert a period (full stop) at the end of the sentence.

16.  Heading:  " ‘I Love Free Software Day 2025’ celebrations"  I suggest
omitting the single quotation marks, as unnecessary.  Whether they are
retained or not, this heading and its listing in the Table of contents (see
my #5, above) should agree.  General consistency would be desirable.

17.  'Hidden projects was the topic of “I love Free Software Day 2025, a
day to say thank you to Free Software contributors'

(a)  The double quotation mark is unmatched.  I suggest removing it.  But
see my #2(a), #5, and #16, above.  General consistency would be desirable.

(b)  Replace "love" with "Love."  Since "Day" is capitalized, this is
clearly intended as the name of the FSFE's invented holiday.  As such, all
important words should be capitalized, notably the verb.

18.  "This year we had 19 meetings around Europe from our local communities
in: Albania, Austria, Germany, Italy, Luxembourg, Netherlands, Poland,
Portugal, Spain, Switzerland, and UK!"

(a)  Replace "from" with "in."  "From" is clearly contrary to English
usage.  If you do not like presence of the word "in" twice (and so close),
the remedy I suggest is to remove the second occurrence.

(b)  I suggest removing the colon.  It does no particular harm, but it is
quite unnecessary; the sentence is fine without it.

(c)  I suggest inserting "the" before "Netherlands."  English usage.

(d)  I suggest inserting "the" before "UK."  English usage.

19.  "The hahstag #ilovefs was also trend on the Fediverse!"

(a)  Replace "hahstag" with "hashtag."

(b)  I suggest inserting "a" before "trend."  English usage.  (Or would it
be better Fediverse usage to replace "was also trend" with "also trended"?)

20.  "Thanks to everyone who joined this day and also send a message
thanking Free Software projects!"

(a)  I suggest replacing "joined" with "participated in."  "Joined" might
mean signing up with the FSFE, and I don't think that is what is intended.

(b)  I suggest inserting "those who" after "also."  As written, this thanks
only those who both joined and sent a message.  If that is what you intend,
don't follow this suggestion; I think that both groups deserve thanks.

(c)  Replace "send" with "sent."  "Send" is the present form of the verb;
the past is obviously needed here.

(d)  I suggest replacing "a message" with "messages."   Even someone who
sent only one message to one project (rather than a message to several
projects) deserves thanks.

21.  "Some dates are too special to miss, like our February trip to FOSDEM
<https://fsfe.org/news/2025/news-20250220-01.html>, where we connect with
the Free Software community."

(a)  I suggest replacing "dates" with "occasions."  There a bit of an
ambiguity here.  A "date" can be the identification of a single day:  the
internet reports that the date of the founding of the FSFE was March 10,
2001.  But the word also can mean a social or romantic appointment.  And
FOSDEM is indeed a social occasion.

(b)  Replace "connect" with "connected."  While it is true that the FSFE
generally connects with the community at FOSDEM, this newsletter is about
specific events that are now in the past.

21.  "Even when things don’t go as planned, it was an energizing boost
against the winter blues."  I suggest replacing "don't" with "didn't."

22.  "Thanks to everyone who joined our DevRooms, attended our talks,
including our keynote on the Apple litigation, came to our women breakfast,
and stopped at the booth."  I suggest removing the comma after "talks."
The bulk of this sentence is a comma-separated list of four activities.
The second activity is "attended our talks, including our keynote on the
Apple litigation," with commas around the phrase that is the second half of
the description of that activity.  The commas are grammatically correct.
However, they conflict with the use of commas to separate the four
activities.  The obvious grammatically correct way to resolve this is to
separate the activities with semicolons rather than commas.  Simply
omitting one of the commas also yields a grammatically correct sentence,
one that is easier to read.

23.  Picture caption:  "Known as “IT Free Software Knowledge Project”
Insert "the" after "as."  English usage.

24.  "As part of this studies academic program"  I suggest removing
"studies."  It is not clear what this word adds to the sentence.  Analyzing
the sentence, this is a noun being used as an adverb modifying "academic"
or as an adjective modifying "program," but it doesn't make sense in either
role.

25.  "and expressed concern of the reliance on foreign IT services."  I
suggest replacing "of" with "over."  Other replacements are possible, such
as "at."

26.  "participating in several meetings as stakeholder"  Insert "a" before
"stakeholder" (unless the team was the only stakeholder, which seems
unlikely given the importance of the matter).


On Fri, Feb 28, 2025 at 6:24 AM Ana Galan <[email protected]> wrote:

> Dear all,
>
> the March newsletter is ready for your proofread and translation.
>
> As usual, we will published it next week, on Tuesday.
>
> You can find it here: https://webpreview.fsfe.org/cgi/fsfe.pl?pad=1373
> and attached.
>
> Best regards and have a great weekend!
>
> Ana
>
> --
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