Re: [needs translation] March newsletter

Hi Richard,

i applied the changes and also I did the same for the FOSDEM news item ( 
I had it in my to do list). About the Legal corner news item, please 
feel free to check it.

Best,

Ana

On 3/3/25 06:15, Richard L. Schmeidler wrote:
> Thank you.
>
> I have proofread the newsletter.  I am attaching a version with my 
> suggestions.  It is an odt file of the html you attached, in that 
> format so that my changes will be identified with the Track Changes 
> feature.
>
> 1.  Title:  "Legal Corner+++ FOSDEM recap+++ Ada in Spanish"  I 
> suggest inserting "movie" after "Ada."  See my #3, below.
>
> 2.  "We were happy to see pictures from the 'I love Free Software Day' 
> celebrations and can't wait to meet you in CLT 2025!"
>
> (a)  I suggest replacing " 'I love Free Software Day' " with "I Love 
> Free Software Day" (removing the single quotation marks, and 
> capitalizing an additional word.  See my #16 and #17(a), and my #17(b) 
> below.  General consistency would be desirable.
>
> (b)  I suggest replacing "in" with "at."  I see that in a similar 
> context "at" is used when attendance at FOSDEM is discussed.  (That 
> the preposition "in" is used in the phrase "participating in" is due 
> to the English usage of the verb "participate"; English usage is to 
> refer to attendance "at" an event.)
>
> 3.  "We are organising an online Q&A session about the DMA and Free 
> Software, and Ada is finally available in Spanish!"  I suggest 
> replacing the comma with a period (full stop) and replacing "and Ada" 
> with "The Ada movie."  "Ada" can refer to (among other things) a 
> nineteenth-century British noblewoman, a twentieth-century computer 
> language, a book (originally in German, now available in several 
> languages), a movie based on the book (also available in several 
> languages), and a character in the book and movie.  I note that in 
> this newsletter, "Ada" is used in several of these ways, including to 
> refer to the movie (here), to refer to the character (in "Ada's 
> Workshop"), and as an element of the title of the book.  Often the 
> intention is clear, but the July newsletter reported that the book was 
> being printed in Spanish and distributed by the Volkswagen Group in 
> Spain, so it should be made clear that this month's news is about the 
> movie.  [This formulation makes the teazer longer, but still under 350 
> characters.]
>
> 4.  Image alt caption:  "from the attendees perspective."  Replace 
> "attendees" with "attendees' ".  The possessive form of the plural is 
> necessary.
>
> 5.  Table of contents:  "*I Love Free Software Day 2025’ celebrations* 
> <https://webpreview.fsfe.org/cgi/fsfe.pl?pad=1373#ilovefs>" Remove the 
> extraneous apostrophe (or unmatched single quotation mark, if that is 
> what it is).  See my #16, below.  General consistency would be desirable.
>
> 6.  "Diversity is specially important because it will ensure"  I 
> suggest replacing "specially" with "especially."  The two words have 
> quite distinct meanings in English.  Of course, if this is a quotation 
> of something that was originally written in English, it should not be 
> corrected.
>
> 7.  "under the tittle"  Replace "tittle" with "title."
>
> 8.  "we suggest you to also listen to the episode 30 
> <https://fsfe.org/news/podcast/episode-30.html>"
>
> (a)  Replace "you to" with "that you."  English usage.
>
> (b)  Remove "the."  English usage.
>
> 9.  "an alternative iOSmarketplace that exclusively distributes Free 
> Software applications"  I suggest inserting a space between "iOS" and 
> "marketplace."
>
> 10.  "The project's goal is to promote a more accessible and inclusive 
> Free Software ecosystem, also in iOS"
>
> (a)  I suggest removing the comma.  I do not see what function the 
> comma serves, and the sentence makes more sense to me without it.
>
> (b)  I suggest removing "also."  Again, I do not see a comparison to 
> some other ecosystem.  (I presume that the comparison is to Windows, 
> but it might also be to Unix or to Android and perhaps other places.)
>
> (c)  Insert a period (full stop) at the end of the sentence.
>
> 11.  "If your software project operates on multiple contributions"  I 
> suggest replacing "operates on" with "has."  English usage.  To say 
> that a project operates on multiple contributions means that it does 
> something to the contributions.   (We say, in particular, that a 
> surgeon operates on a patient, or operates on a burst appendix.)
>
> 12.  "Here we’ll discuss"  Replace "we'll" with "we"  "We'll" is a 
> contraction of "We will" or "We shall" and indicates that something is 
> to be happening in the future.  This item has already been published.
>
> 13.  I suggest inserting a new paragraph at the end of this item 
> (after the instruction to check out the article).  'This is the first 
> article in a new series, "Legal Corner".'  This fact is important 
> enough that "Legal Corner" is the first item in this month's title.  
> This fact is important enough that publication of the first Legal 
> Corner article is the first news of the month mentioned in the 
> teaser.  I think that this fact should also appear in the text of the 
> newsletter.  If you don't want to put it somewhere else, I suggest 
> putting it here.
>
> [Incidentally, that article was never submitted to me for 
> proofreading.  For all that I am not actively engaged in the practice 
> of law, am not a European lawyer, and am not a member of the FSFE's 
> Legal Network, I mght still be competent to proofread this material.]
>
> 14.  "The /Ada & Zangemann - A Tale of Software, Skateboards, and 
> Raspberry Ice Cream/ movie is now available in Spanish 
> <https://media.fsfe.org/w/mPiL4nzoJ21gWiG4JHLATf>!"  I suggest moving 
> "movie" from its present place after the title to be the second word 
> of the sentence, just before the title.  English usage.
>
> 15.  "Help us to spread the word about the movie so in future young 
> people have the opportunity to tinker, experiment and code with Free 
> Software as the default"
>
> (a)  I suggest inserting "the" before "future." "In future" is a 
> British usage, with a slightly different meaning.
>
> (b)  I suggest inserting an Oxford comma after "experiment."  The 
> Oxford comma is used elsewhere in this newsletter.
>
> (c)  Insert a period (full stop) at the end of the sentence.
>
> 16.  Heading:  " ‘I Love Free Software Day 2025’ celebrations"  I 
> suggest omitting the single quotation marks, as unnecessary.  Whether 
> they are retained or not, this heading and its listing in the Table of 
> contents (see my #5, above) should agree.  General consistency would 
> be desirable.
>
> 17.  'Hidden projects was the topic of “I love Free Software Day 2025, 
> a day to say thank you to Free Software contributors'
>
> (a)  The double quotation mark is unmatched.  I suggest removing it.  
> But see my #2(a), #5, and #16, above.  General consistency would be 
> desirable.
>
> (b)  Replace "love" with "Love."  Since "Day" is capitalized, this is 
> clearly intended as the name of the FSFE's invented holiday.  As such, 
> all important words should be capitalized, notably the verb.
>
> 18.  "This year we had 19 meetings around Europe from our local 
> communities in: Albania, Austria, Germany, Italy, Luxembourg, 
> Netherlands, Poland, Portugal, Spain, Switzerland, and UK!"
>
> (a)  Replace "from" with "in."  "From" is clearly contrary to English 
> usage.  If you do not like presence of the word "in" twice (and so 
> close), the remedy I suggest is to remove the second occurrence.
>
> (b)  I suggest removing the colon.  It does no particular harm, but it 
> is quite unnecessary; the sentence is fine without it.
>
> (c)  I suggest inserting "the" before "Netherlands."  English usage.
>
> (d)  I suggest inserting "the" before "UK." English usage.
>
> 19.  "The hahstag #ilovefs was also trend on the Fediverse!"
>
> (a)  Replace "hahstag" with "hashtag."
>
> (b)  I suggest inserting "a" before "trend." English usage.  (Or would 
> it be better Fediverse usage to replace "was also trend" with "also 
> trended"?)
>
> 20.  "Thanks to everyone who joined this day and also send a message 
> thanking Free Software projects!"
>
> (a)  I suggest replacing "joined" with "participated in."  "Joined" 
> might mean signing up with the FSFE, and I don't think that is what is 
> intended.
>
> (b)  I suggest inserting "those who" after "also."  As written, this 
> thanks only those who both joined and sent a message.  If that is what 
> you intend, don't follow this suggestion; I think that both groups 
> deserve thanks.
>
> (c)  Replace "send" with "sent."  "Send" is the present form of the 
> verb; the past is obviously needed here.
>
> (d)  I suggest replacing "a message" with "messages."   Even someone 
> who sent only one message to one project (rather than a message to 
> several projects) deserves thanks.
>
> 21.  "Some dates are too special to miss, like our February trip to 
> FOSDEM <https://fsfe.org/news/2025/news-20250220-01.html>, where we 
> connect with the Free Software community."
>
> (a)  I suggest replacing "dates" with "occasions."  There a bit of an 
> ambiguity here.  A "date" can be the identification of a single day: 
> the internet reports that the date of the founding of the FSFE was 
> March 10, 2001.  But the word also can mean a social or romantic 
> appointment.  And FOSDEM is indeed a social occasion.
>
> (b)  Replace "connect" with "connected."  While it is true that the 
> FSFE generally connects with the community at FOSDEM, this newsletter 
> is about specific events that are now in the past.
>
> 21.  "Even when things don’t go as planned, it was an energizing boost 
> against the winter blues."  I suggest replacing "don't" with "didn't."
>
> 22.  "Thanks to everyone who joined our DevRooms, attended our talks, 
> including our keynote on the Apple litigation, came to our women 
> breakfast, and stopped at the booth."  I suggest removing the comma 
> after "talks."  The bulk of this sentence is a comma-separated list of 
> four activities.  The second activity is "attended our talks, 
> including our keynote on the Apple litigation," with commas around the 
> phrase that is the second half of the description of that activity.  
> The commas are grammatically correct. However, they conflict with the 
> use of commas to separate the four activities.  The obvious 
> grammatically correct way to resolve this is to separate the 
> activities with semicolons rather than commas.  Simply omitting one of 
> the commas also yields a grammatically correct sentence, one that is 
> easier to read.
>
> 23.  Picture caption:  "Known as “IT Free Software Knowledge Project”  
> Insert "the" after "as."  English usage.
>
> 24.  "As part of this studies academic program" I suggest removing 
> "studies."  It is not clear what this word adds to the sentence.  
> Analyzing the sentence, this is a noun being used as an adverb 
> modifying "academic" or as an adjective modifying "program," but it 
> doesn't make sense in either role.
>
> 25.  "and expressed concern of the reliance on foreign IT services."  
> I suggest replacing "of" with "over."  Other replacements are 
> possible, such as "at."
>
> 26.  "participating in several meetings as stakeholder"  Insert "a" 
> before "stakeholder" (unless the team was the only stakeholder, which 
> seems unlikely given the importance of the matter).
>
>
> On Fri, Feb 28, 2025 at 6:24 AM Ana Galan <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>     Dear all,
>
>     the March newsletter is ready for your proofread and translation.
>
>     As usual, we will published it next week, on Tuesday.
>
>     You can find it here:
>     https://webpreview.fsfe.org/cgi/fsfe.pl?pad=1373
>     and attached.
>
>     Best regards and have a great weekend!
>
>     Ana
>
>     -- 
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>
>
> -- 
> "The problem with quotes on the internet is that it is difficult to 
> determine whether or not they are genuine." -- Abraham Lincoln

-- 
Ana Galan - Senior Project Manager Communications
Free Software Foundation Europe
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