Re: [needs proofread & translation] October Newsletter

Hi Richard,

thanks for your proofread and comments. Just to clarify: it is the 
normal newsletter and one of the topics is that we,as we do every year, 
published our yearly report (Software Freedom in Europe).

Best,

Ana

On 04/10/2025 23:57, Richard L. Schmeidler wrote:
> Thank you for sending this so long before the publication date.
>
> I am using the file you attached as the basis for the version I am 
> attaching with my suggestions, so that there will be no impact if 
> people make changes to the webpreview. My version is an odt file, to 
> get the benefit of the LibreOffice Track Changes feature.  However, I 
> am using the webpreview to do most of my actual proofreading.
>
> 1.  Title:  "Yearly Report +++ DMA turns one +++ Legal Corner"  Is 
> this a yearly report on the state of Software Freedom in Europe, or is 
> it the more usual monthly newsletter for October?  This title says the 
> former.  Your message says the latter.  I can't tell how you feel 
> about this, but to me it looks more like the monthly newsletters 
> (despite saying "Yearly" in the title).  Perhaps you should say 
> somewhere that this is the October newsletter, and that it includes 
> the yearly report on the state of Software Freedom in Europe.  I am 
> not suggesting any correction.  The same issue is also dealt with in 
> my #2, below.
>
> 2.  "Autumn brings our Software Freedom in Europe report!"  This 
> presents the same issue as in my #1, above. Again, I am not suggesting 
> any correction.
>
> 3.  "Check out our interview about the 'I Love Free Software Day' with 
> our local group in Barcelona"  I suggest removing "the."  This is not 
> wrong, but not saying "the" before the name of the occasion is better 
> English usage. (My suggestion conforms to the usage in the Quote of 
> the Month, and also to the heading for the interview.)
>
> 4.  "Find out what we have achieve in the last twelve months"  Replace 
> "achieve" with "achieved."
>
> 5.  "On 21 October, the FSFE is participating as intervener in the 
> hearing"
>
> (a)  Insert "an" after "as."  If there is only one intervenor, not 
> saying "an" would be permissible (although it would still be better 
> usage to insert "an," even in that case, since there can be multiple 
> intervenors).  If there is more than one intervenor, "an" is 
> obligatory English usage.
>
> (b)  Replace "intervener" with "intervenor."  Although both spellings 
> are used, this is the preferred spelling.
>
> 6.  'Since we began organising events in Europe together with the FSFE 
> is local groups for the "I Love Free Software Day" '
>
> (a)  Replace "is" with an apostrophe and "s."  English grammar.  
> "FSFE's" is a possessive form, not a contraction of "FSFE is".
>
> (b)  Remove the second occurrence of "the" (after "for").  See my #3, 
> above.
>
> 7.  "The Barcelona based local group is a mix of people contributing 
> and developing KDE and Free Software friends from Catalonia."   Insert 
> "of" after "and."   This prevents a misreading (or at least temporary 
> confusion) on the part of the reader.  As one reads the sentence up to 
> the words "contributing and developing," the question may arise, "what 
> is it that the people are contributing and developing?"  The correct 
> answer, of course is "KDE."  But as one reads, it might temporarilly 
> look as though what is being contributed and developed is "KDE and 
> Free Software" or even "KDE and Free Software friends."
>
> 8.  "Follow Alex and Bonnie in this episode to learn more about Free 
> Software Software stacks and their connection with public 
> administration."  Replace "Free Software Software stacks" with 
> "software stacks of Free Software."
>
> (a)  The repetition of the word "Software" is clumsy and unnecesary.
>
> (b)  The capitalization of the second occurrence of "Software" is 
> improper.
>
> 9.  "We’re happy to share that the FSFE is now included among the 
> options! https://www.hellotux.com/fsfe" Should the URL be a live link, 
> rather than just text?  (I am not attempting to do this in my version.)
>
> On Thu, Oct 2, 2025 at 2:21 AM Ana Galan <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>     Hi all,
>
>     You can find October newsletter here:
>     https://webpreview.fsfe.org/cgi/fsfe.pl?pad=1539
>
>     We will publish it next Tuesday
>
>     Best,
>
>     Ana
>
>     -- 
>
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>
> -- 
> "The problem with quotes on the internet is that it is difficult to 
> determine whether or not they are genuine." -- Abraham Lincoln

-- 

Ana Galan (she/her) - Senior Project Manager Communications
Free Software Foundation Europe
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This mailing list is covered by the FSFE's Code of Conduct. All
participants are kindly asked to be excellent to each other:
https://fsfe.org/about/codeofconduct