Re: [needs proofread & translation] October Newsletter

Thank you.  Since I happened to be up in what is for me very much the
middle of my night, I thought I'd respond.

I see that you have already put my suggestions into the webpreview.  I am
glad that they will thus be available to the actual translators before the
publication of the English version.  This means that "proofread &" is no
longer needed in the subject line of this message!

My #1 and #2 were based on confusion on my part.  I had remembered your
monthly newsletters as having in the teaser either the name of the month or
a reference to the fact that they are newsletters.  However, looking now at
recent issues, I see that this is not always the case.  So the first two
words of the title just identify one of the important items that follow,
very much as usual.  They are not the title, as they would have been if the
first "+++" had been replaced by a colon.  And the first words of the
teaser just elaborate on this.  They tease; they do not say that this is
the report.

I doubt that your other readers will be confused as I was.

On Mon, Oct 6, 2025 at 4:43 AM Ana Galan <[email protected]> wrote:

> Hi Richard,
>
> thanks for your proofread and comments. Just to clarify: it is the normal
> newsletter and one of the topics is that we,as we do every year, published
> our yearly report (Software Freedom in Europe).
>
> Best,
>
> Ana
> On 04/10/2025 23:57, Richard L. Schmeidler wrote:
>
> Thank you for sending this so long before the publication date.
>
> I am using the file you attached as the basis for the version I am
> attaching with my suggestions, so that there will be no impact if people
> make changes to the webpreview.  My version is an odt file, to get the
> benefit of the LibreOffice Track Changes feature.  However, I am using the
> webpreview to do most of my actual proofreading.
>
> 1.  Title:  "Yearly Report +++ DMA turns one +++ Legal Corner"  Is this a
> yearly report on the state of Software Freedom in Europe, or is it the more
> usual monthly newsletter for October?  This title says the former.  Your
> message says the latter.  I can't tell how you feel about this, but to me
> it looks more like the monthly newsletters (despite saying "Yearly" in the
> title).  Perhaps you should say somewhere that this is the October
> newsletter, and that it includes the yearly report on the state of Software
> Freedom in Europe.  I am not suggesting any correction.  The same issue is
> also dealt with in my #2, below.
>
> 2.  "Autumn brings our Software Freedom in Europe report!"  This presents
> the same issue as in my #1, above.  Again, I am not suggesting any
> correction.
>
> 3.  "Check out our interview about the 'I Love Free Software Day' with our
> local group in Barcelona"  I suggest removing "the."  This is not wrong,
> but not saying "the" before the name of the occasion is better English
> usage.  (My suggestion conforms to the usage in the Quote of the Month, and
> also to the heading for the interview.)
>
> 4.  "Find out what we have achieve in the last twelve months"  Replace
> "achieve" with "achieved."
>
> 5.  "On 21 October, the FSFE is participating as intervener in the
> hearing"
>
> (a)  Insert "an" after "as."  If there is only one intervenor, not saying
> "an" would be permissible (although it would still be better usage to
> insert "an," even in that case, since there can be multiple intervenors).
> If there is more than one intervenor, "an" is obligatory English usage.
>
> (b)  Replace "intervener" with "intervenor."  Although both spellings are
> used, this is the preferred spelling.
>
> 6.  'Since we began organising events in Europe together with the FSFE is
> local groups for the "I Love Free Software Day" '
>
> (a)  Replace "is" with an apostrophe and "s."  English grammar.  "FSFE's"
> is a possessive form, not a contraction of "FSFE is".
>
> (b)  Remove the second occurrence of "the" (after "for").  See my #3,
> above.
>
> 7.  "The Barcelona based local group is a mix of people contributing and
> developing KDE and Free Software friends from Catalonia."   Insert "of"
> after "and."   This prevents a misreading (or at least temporary confusion)
> on the part of the reader.  As one reads the sentence up to the words
> "contributing and developing," the question may arise, "what is it that the
> people are contributing and developing?"  The correct answer, of course is
> "KDE."  But as one reads, it might temporarilly look as though what is
> being contributed and developed is "KDE and Free Software" or even "KDE and
> Free Software friends."
>
> 8.  "Follow Alex and Bonnie in this episode to learn more about Free
> Software Software stacks and their connection with public administration."
> Replace "Free Software Software stacks" with "software stacks of Free
> Software."
>
> (a)  The repetition of the word "Software" is clumsy and unnecesary.
>
> (b)  The capitalization of the second occurrence of "Software" is improper.
>
> 9.  "We’re happy to share that the FSFE is now included among the options!
> https://www.hellotux.com/fsfe"  Should the URL be a live link, rather
> than just text?  (I am not attempting to do this in my version.)
>
> On Thu, Oct 2, 2025 at 2:21 AM Ana Galan <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Hi all,
>>
>> You can find October newsletter here:
>> https://webpreview.fsfe.org/cgi/fsfe.pl?pad=1539
>>
>> We will publish it next Tuesday
>>
>> Best,
>>
>> Ana
>>
>> --
>>
>>
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>
>
> --
> "The problem with quotes on the internet is that it is difficult to
> determine whether or not they are genuine." -- Abraham Lincoln
>
> --
>
> Ana Galan (she/her) - Senior Project Manager Communications
> Free Software Foundation Europe
> Revaler Str. 19, 10245 Berlin, Germany | t:+49 157 92 34 72 12
> Registered at Amtsgericht Hamburg, VR 17030
>
>
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>

-- 
"The problem with quotes on the internet is that it is difficult to
determine whether or not they are genuine." -- Abraham Lincoln

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