Re: Is this anti-homophobia tactic sound?

On Thu, 6 Dec 2001, Kendall Clark wrote:

> >>>>> "jack" == Jack McKinney <jack3743-XfrvlLN1Pqtfpb/[email protected]> writes:
>
>   jack> I think this guy is a BFing rump-ranger that is trying to
>   jack> sound like he's straight.  Closet queers seem to be
>   jack> everywhere.  Uncle Bob
>
> Hmm, well, while it's strange to start coming to terms with your own
> sexuality on a public mailing list full of strangers, "Uncle Bob",
> we're certainly not going to like you any less if you are gay or, as
> you seem to prefer it, one of the "closeted queers" who "seem to be
> everywhere".
>
> As for you interest in men who you take to be "BFing rump-ranger[s]",
> well, that's kind of private too, and we don't really do personal ads
> or anything, but I'm sure if you will seek counseling or psychiatric
> help during this painful transition, from the extreme homophobia you
> display above to a more healthy self-understanding, you can end up
> finding a sexually satisfying relationship with just such a man, if
> that's what you want.
>
> 				 ###
>
> Now what concerns me is that, while I mean this response sincerely, it
> may cheapen or inappropriately problematize the real struggle gay men
> sometimes go through in accepting their sexuality. Josh Baugher just
> pointed to an APA study[1] that seems to show conclusive evidence for the
> Freudian idea that extreme homophobia is a repression mechanism for
> dealing with homosexual desire.
>
> So I'm wondering about this tactic... Should I as a straight man use
> it or not? Should anyone use it? Does it "feel" weird or inappropriate
> to others?

To me, it comes off as taunting the original poster (Uncle Bob) with the
idea that he might be gay.  Now, there's obviously nothing wrong with
Uncle Bob (or anyone else) being gay.  So to taunt him about it is, to me,
to give in to the notion that there is something bad about homosexuality.
You're basically embracing his beliefs in order to taunt him.  Because
only if being gay is a bad and shameful thing could it then be considered
something worth taunting someone about.

It doesn't seem all that much different than calling him a "cocksucker" in
a derogatory manner.  Why would you think it was an insult to call a man a
cocksucker?  If you don't, then it doesn't make a good insult.  If you do,
then you're buying into homophobia.  Ok, your language is much more
genteel and educated, but the sentiment just doesn't seem that different.

I can't imagine why you'd think your response would come off as sincere.
It doesn't to me and I'm sure Uncle Bob wouldn't think so either.  I think
it would enrage him and would do little to help him move towards an
understanding of his own hypothetical repressed homosexuality.


My 2 cents,


-dave

/*==================
www.urth.org
We await the New Sun
==================*/