[AlbClub] Suicide letter

                  *** AlbClub Discussion List ***

Monologue
   
  Written 
  by Perparim Kapllani
   
   
  (This story was rated "Very good" at www.zoetrope.com. It was dedicated to E. Q,  who jumped from a skyscraper, 4 years ago in Toronto.)
   
   
   
  "Sorry, mama!
  I am guilty. 
  My heart is full with sorrow. 
  I shouldn’t fly! 
   
  Your eyes are reddened, because of my terrible mistake. 
   
  Don’t you see me? This is your son speaking: 26 years old, alien and unemployed. 
   
  I am the white soul, who will never rest. 
   
  I open my arms as a bird in this space of illusion. 
   
  All of the sudden I found the real truth: Everything is an illusion! But sorry, I shouldn’t do it. I shouldn’t leave you abandoned. 
   
  I am on my knees and ask you to forgive me, 
  even I am already there. 

  Sorry for the immigration officer! 
  Sorry for me, that I was illegal, even I had spent thousands of dollars to come in Canada. 
   
  Forgive, my Canadian Employer! 
  He fired me, because I didn’t have the Canadian Experience. 
  Forgive me for my own little mistake: I should forget everything else and think a little bit about you. 
   
  This music makes me fever, even I don’t exist. I drink an empty bottle of beer all over again.
   
  Please, forgive me.  I paid a visit to Hades, Empire of Death, without your permission. 
   
  I am guilty! I am criminal. Damn me! God forbid! 
   
  Now I am 6 feet under! 
  I shouldn’t make you suffer! 
  I shouldn’t just give up. 
   
  I should become like Sisyphus. 
  Sisyphus kept smiling, no matter what was happening to him! I should overcome any kind of torture. 
   
  Now it’s too late. 


  Mama, 
   
  can you…, 
                  can you…, 
                                    can you forgive me?!"

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