Re: A.A.P.C. FOLKLORE, Part Thirteen

> HarryLime wrote:
> 
>> NancyGene wrote:
>> 
>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>> 
>>>> NancyGene wrote:
>>>> 
>>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>>> 
>>>>>> NancyGene wrote:
>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>> NancyGene wrote:
>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>>>>>>>> CLAY DONKEY.
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> Clay is the eldest of Will's three children (two with his late wife, Lady K, and a third that he doesn't talk about).
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> Clay is a professional cosplayer, who frequents Brony conventions.
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> He's also a Homose*ual -- although Will Donkey refuses to admit it.
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> In this image, he is sitting in front of his computer screen with his imaginary family, waiting (in vain) for Michael Pendragon to apologize to him.
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> Will Donkey has written several poems about Clay over the years.  This is the earliest known example:
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> Big Fat f***in' Epiphany
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> I had an epiphany yesterday
>>>>>>>>> I realized that Clay is gay
>>>>>>>>> He plays dress up as Princess Lei-
>>>>>>>>> Around the village every day
>>>>>>>>> You'll see him prance and swish and sway
>>>>>>>>> But I still love him anyway.
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> I had an epiphany last night, by heck
>>>>>>>>> That I'm a bum whose life's a total wreck
>>>>>>>>> I mooch off my brother's disability check
>>>>>>>>> I've got six chins beneath my neck
>>>>>>>>> But no one ever would suspeck
>>>>>>>>> Because they're hid beneath my beard.
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> I have to say it's really weird
>>>>>>>>> To see yourself as others do.
>>>>>>>>> My wife and kids done left me, too
>>>>>>>>> I guess they saw the way I see
>>>>>>>>> Myself with this epiphany.
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> So I can't write and I can't sing
>>>>>>>>> And I can't fight Jim in a ring
>>>>>>>>> Not even for some charity.
>>>>>>>>> I'm just a Fat f**k in a tent
>>>>>>>>> Whose "poetry" ain't worth a cent
>>>>>>>>> Who never bathes or pays his rent
>>>>>>>>> And stinks like beer and pee.
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> And just in case you haven't guessed
>>>>>>>>> This Fat f**k bum who's such a mess
>>>>>>>>> I'll here confess that it is me
>>>>>>>>> Willie "Douchebag" Dockery.
>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>> Poor Clay, born, raised and living as a Dockery.  He changed his first name to "Lay," but that didn't help, other than in meeting temporary friends.
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> Another piece of folklore that rose up around stories of Will Donkey's homophobic issues regarding his son, is that when a young Clay first started to show Homose*ual tendencies, Will Donkey undertook extreme measures to ensure that it would never come to pass.
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> The following image appears to combine the above-related incident, with Will's famous swizzle stick photos with the Dark Queen.
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> True, but Clay's friends always knew that he appreciated a new butt plug for Christmas and his birthday.  Prancing wears out the accessory fairly quickly.
>>>>> 
>>>>> 
>>>>> Despite Will's discomfort regarding Clay's gender identity, he did his best to raise him in the Donkey family traditions.
>>>>> 
>>>>> Here's an image of him teaching young Clay how to poop in a hole.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> It's not an instinct like cats have to cover up their poop or poop in a litter box?  We assume that the rules for daycare in Shitholeville are 2 and poop-hole trained?
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Outside of the pissbum camp on RiverWalk, the residents of Columbus mostly use outhouses -- and a few even have indoor plumbing.
>>> 
>>> The strangeness of Will Donkey's bathroom habits can be seen in the following excerpt from an interview he once did for the local fish wrap magazine:
>>> 
>>> INTERVIEWER:  I suppose you don't just hold it? 
>>> WILL DOCKERY:  No.  I let it out just like everybody else does.   
>>> INTERVIEWER:  How? 
>>> WILL DOCKERY:  Well, to pee, you just go out back and pee.   
>>> INTERVIEWER:  How about to poop? 
>>> WILL DOCKERY:  For that, you dig a hole.  Then you poop into the hole and cover it up. 
>> 
>> 
>> Did someone have to teach Will Donkey whether the poop goes IN the hole or OUTSIDE the hole?
> 
> 
> 
> The art of hole-pooping is a family tradition that has been passed down from parents to children throughout the Donkey family's history.
> 
> Will did his part with Clay.
> 
> However, Joey may still be pooping outside the hole (much to the chagrin of his cellmates).



Joey may be having a "hard time" controlling his pooping, all things considered. 


This response appears in the discussion at:
http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=709197174#709197174

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