Re: A.A.P.C. FOLKLORE, Part Thirteen

> NancyGene wrote:
> 
>> HarryLime wrote:
>> 
>>> NancyGene wrote:
>>> 
>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>> 
>>>>> NancyGene wrote:
>>>>> 
>>>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> NancyGene wrote:
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> NancyGene wrote:
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>> CLAY DONKEY.
>>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>>> Clay is the eldest of Will's three children (two with his late wife, Lady K, and a third that he doesn't talk about).
>>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>>> Clay is a professional cosplayer, who frequents Brony conventions.
>>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>>> He's also a Homose*ual -- although Will Donkey refuses to admit it.
>>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>>> In this image, he is sitting in front of his computer screen with his imaginary family, waiting (in vain) for Michael Pendragon to apologize to him.
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> Will Donkey has written several poems about Clay over the years.  This is the earliest known example:
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> Big Fat f***in' Epiphany
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> I had an epiphany yesterday
>>>>>>>>>> I realized that Clay is gay
>>>>>>>>>> He plays dress up as Princess Lei-
>>>>>>>>>> Around the village every day
>>>>>>>>>> You'll see him prance and swish and sway
>>>>>>>>>> But I still love him anyway.
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> I had an epiphany last night, by heck
>>>>>>>>>> That I'm a bum whose life's a total wreck
>>>>>>>>>> I mooch off my brother's disability check
>>>>>>>>>> I've got six chins beneath my neck
>>>>>>>>>> But no one ever would suspeck
>>>>>>>>>> Because they're hid beneath my beard.
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> I have to say it's really weird
>>>>>>>>>> To see yourself as others do.
>>>>>>>>>> My wife and kids done left me, too
>>>>>>>>>> I guess they saw the way I see
>>>>>>>>>> Myself with this epiphany.
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> So I can't write and I can't sing
>>>>>>>>>> And I can't fight Jim in a ring
>>>>>>>>>> Not even for some charity.
>>>>>>>>>> I'm just a Fat f**k in a tent
>>>>>>>>>> Whose "poetry" ain't worth a cent
>>>>>>>>>> Who never bathes or pays his rent
>>>>>>>>>> And stinks like beer and pee.
>>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>>> And just in case you haven't guessed
>>>>>>>>>> This Fat f**k bum who's such a mess
>>>>>>>>>> I'll here confess that it is me
>>>>>>>>>> Willie "Douchebag" Dockery.
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>>> Poor Clay, born, raised and living as a Dockery.  He changed his first name to "Lay," but that didn't help, other than in meeting temporary friends.
>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>> Another piece of folklore that rose up around stories of Will Donkey's homophobic issues regarding his son, is that when a young Clay first started to show Homose*ual tendencies, Will Donkey undertook extreme measures to ensure that it would never come to pass.
>>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>>> The following image appears to combine the above-related incident, with Will's famous swizzle stick photos with the Dark Queen.
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> 
>>>>>>> True, but Clay's friends always knew that he appreciated a new butt plug for Christmas and his birthday.  Prancing wears out the accessory fairly quickly.
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> Despite Will's discomfort regarding Clay's gender identity, he did his best to raise him in the Donkey family traditions.
>>>>>> 
>>>>>> Here's an image of him teaching young Clay how to poop in a hole.
>>>>> 
>>>>> 
>>>>> It's not an instinct like cats have to cover up their poop or poop in a litter box?  We assume that the rules for daycare in Shitholeville are 2 and poop-hole trained?
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> Outside of the pissbum camp on RiverWalk, the residents of Columbus mostly use outhouses -- and a few even have indoor plumbing.
>>>> 
>>>> The strangeness of Will Donkey's bathroom habits can be seen in the following excerpt from an interview he once did for the local fish wrap magazine:
>>>> 
>>>> INTERVIEWER:  I suppose you don't just hold it? 
>>>> WILL DOCKERY:  No.  I let it out just like everybody else does.   
>>>> INTERVIEWER:  How? 
>>>> WILL DOCKERY:  Well, to pee, you just go out back and pee.   
>>>> INTERVIEWER:  How about to poop? 
>>>> WILL DOCKERY:  For that, you dig a hole.  Then you poop into the hole and cover it up. 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Did someone have to teach Will Donkey whether the poop goes IN the hole or OUTSIDE the hole?
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> The art of hole-pooping is a family tradition that has been passed down from parents to children throughout the Donkey family's history.
>> 
>> Will did his part with Clay.
>> 
>> However, Joey may still be pooping outside the hole (much to the chagrin of his cellmates).
> 
> 
> Joey may be having a "hard time" controlling his pooping, all things considered.




Bubba and the boys from Cell Block #7 have presented him with a handmade butt-plug. 


This response appears in the discussion at:
http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=709197174#709197174

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