Re: A.A.P.C. FOLKLORE, Part Four

> HarryLime wrote:
> 
>> NancyGene wrote:
>> 
>>> Cujo DeSockpuppet wrote:
>>> [email protected] (HarryLime) wrote
>>> in news:[email protected]:
>>> 
>>> 
>>>> NancyGene wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> Bruce wrote:
>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> HarryLime wrote:
>>>> DirtNap Dave:
>>>> 
>>>> Originally known as "Brother Dave," he acquired the name "DirtNap"
>>>> after Stinky George sent him to an early grave.
>>>> 
>>>> Stinky George was a friend of Will's who had recently been evicted
>>>> from the trailer he was renting.  Will Donkey solicited for
>>>> donations at A.A.P.C. and was sent $50 by one of the group's
>>>> members.
>>>> 
>>>> When the money arrived, rather than passing it on to Stinky
>>>> George, Will texted Stinky on his Obama phone and invited him out
>>>> to steak dinner, along with Brother Dave.  When Stinky found out
>>>> that the $50 had been intended for him, he flipped out and
>>>> attacked the Donkey Brothers with a metal rod.
>>>> 
>>>> Brother Dave (being smaller) received the worst of the assault,
>>>> having been repeatedly bashed in the head.
>>>> 
>>>> He never fully recovered, and died two years later.*
>>>> 
>>>> *There is some evidence, however, that Will Donkey may have
>>>> contributed to DirtNap Dave's demise, as Will (who was living off
>>>> of Dave's Disability check) would stick a lit cigarette in his
>>>> invalided brother's mouth every 15 minutes or so.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> Another popular bit of folklore involving Brother Dave concerns
>>>> his funeral service.
>>>> 
>>>> Rather than go the traditional route, the Donkey family opted to
>>>> perform the ceremony themselves.
>>>> 
>>>> Brother Dave was cremated (hopefully at an actual crematorium) and
>>>> his ashes placed in an empty mayonnaise jar.  The Donkey clan then
>>>> gathered on a mountaintop, took turns speaking with a microphone
>>>> about Brother Dave, then tossed his ashes off into the wind.
>>>> 
>>>> According to the folklore Clay Dockery dropped the mayonnaise jar,
>>>> spilling the ashes all over the parking lot in the park where the
>>>> mountaintop was automobile accessible, and quickly scooped up a
>>>> jarful of dirt to take its place.
>>>> 
>>>> Ellen Horny filmed the event on her ever-present Obama-phone, and
>>>> Ducky Mallard captured the highlights via photographs, copies of
>>>> which he offered online for $10 a pop.
>>>> 
>>>> In what is perhaps the most interesting twist on the tale, Sarah
>>>> Donkeytits opened a GoFundMe account seeking donations for Brother
>>>> Dave's funeral.  Since the Donkeys performed the funeral services
>>>> themselves, one wonders what became of the money that she raised.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> The following image depicts the late night attack on the Donkey
>>>> Brothers by a "blackout drunk" Stinky George.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> Here's what Will Dockery wrote:
>>>> 
>>>> "A person [George Sulzbach] came up on me with a metal bar of some
>>>> kind, and smashed me on the back with it, connecting with my
>>>> elbow, sending sparks of pain through my arm. I turned and shoved
>>>> him, and he tumbled to the ground, then scuttled into the shadows.
>>>> 
>>>> "My Brother Dave came charging up at him with a rake, and the
>>>> maniac [George Sulzbach] jumped out of the shadows and clocked him
>>>> right in the forehead with that metal pipe.
>>>> 
>>>> "Bip, put a pretty good smash to his forehead, causing some
>>>> bleeding.
>>>> 
>>>> "The man [George Sulzbach] ran into his trailer and locked the
>>>> door, and, with daylight about an hour in the future, me and my
>>>> brother just left, to clean his wound and get some sleep..."
>>>> 
>>>> If one believes Will Donkey's eye-witness account, this piece of
>>>> folklore is based entirely on a real life event.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> Sounds like yet another person that wanted the Donkey to take a
>>>> dirt nap.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> He does seem to have that effect on his friends.
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> Even Will Donkey's friends want to deep six him.
>>>> 
>>>> With good reason -- assuming that Will had taken the $50 Jim sent to
>>>> Stinky G and pretended that it had been given to himself.
>>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> That's our Douchebag!
>>> 
>>> --
>>> "I've known for over a year that this guy is the assassin of the Usenet
>>> poetry community. When I first arrived, I thought he was keeping the
>>> lights on in a dead group by reposting from archives. I soon realized
>>> that he was just endlessly reposting his own stuff, that he had killed
>>> the group by flooding it, and that most of the people he called
>>> "trolls" were actually the members of the group.
>>> I've joined the crowd. I'm done trying to work with him and speak reason
>>> to him. It's exhausting and pointless." - Little Willie Douchebag gets
>>> another asskicking from The One True Melissa
>> 
>> 
>> Will Donkey is going to have to pick a lot of pockets to come up with his property taxes this year.  No $50 contribution from Jim either.
> 
> 
> 
> And having been barred from LeGents, he won't be able to steal any tips.



And everyone has already seen his moobs and the tits of his daughter, granddaughter and great-granddaughter.  Has Clay the Gay displayed his unhairy chest yet?  Lots of jiggly there. 


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