LNH: Leadership CRASH! Net.ropolis 2025 #1x30: "Cut to the Chase! Begin the Fearful Saga of Imperium Hex Part II!"

And the scribe returned, bearing a handful of ashes. And they sat, with the
pieces and thoughts and feelings they'd gathered. And they thought, and
organized the pieces into different forms, and compared those to the thoughts
and feelings, seeing if they looked right, if they reflected one another. And
after a time...

After a time, they swept everything off the table and cracked their knuckles.
"Fuck it."
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"Flee!" shouted Marvel Zombie Girl. "Flee, from the Legion of Bad Judgment
Boys!"

Cannon Fodder opened up with twin KRATHOOM Blasters, but his shots bounced off
the steel skin of Bad Judgment Boy Silver, who tore him to shreds. The Dragon
of the Pen sliced thru Bad Judgment Boy Taupe, but was driven back by the sword
skills of Bad Judgment Boy Ochre. Token Girl desperately fired bus token after
bus token, clearing a space for others to run.

Fuzzy shouted orders, but it was clear to her - to everyone - that they had
lost this battle, and needed to retreat. "Get to the Legionspeeder!" she yelled.

"But what about the prisoners in the LNHQ holding cells!?" said Shirley
Jefferson, who had taken the temporary codename of Grand Order Lass.

"We can't rescue them if we're captured too," said Toony Stork, wearing pieces
of various old Irony Man armors jury-rigged together.

Shirley was about to object further, but the Dragon of the Pen scooped her up
in a princess carry, and she became far too distracted to do any such thing.

But between them and the Legionspeeder stood Hex Luthor's secret weapon - the
enormous, monstrous Bad Judgment Boy Gunmetal!

"Hey, big and ugly!" shouted Toony, shooting repulsive rays at the monstrous
Boy.

"WOW, THAT FEELS NEAT!" it shouted. "FOLLOWING YOU AWAY FROM THE BATTLE IS A
GREAT IDEA!" And it did so, as Toony ran back toward the other BJBs.

"No!" shouted Token Girl, but she fell back as Fuzzy pushed her into the
Legionspeeder and closed the hatch.

"Go!" she shouted to Parking Karma Kid, and they lifted off.
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[      \ \  \____\ \  \\  \\ \  \ \  \|____|\  \ \  \ \  \ \__\               >
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[       NET.ROPOLIS 2025!                                    \|__|            >
[                                                                             >
[ Issue #1x30:                                                                >
[         "Cut to the Chase!                                                  >
[              Begin the Fearful Saga of Imperium Hex Part II!"               >
[_____________________________________________________________________________>

Half an hour later, they had put the Legionspeeder in a safe place and made
their way down into the Net.ropolis sewers, down into the labyrinth where the
Shadow People dwelt.

They had negotiated for a safe space down there, but they couldn't go past
certain places... there were a lot of Shadow People who trusted the LNH, even
some who had been members at one point or another; but there were many who
didn't, and Fuzzy couldn't blame their reasons. Self-Righteous Preacher,
Obnoxious Ame.rec.a Boy, Master Blaster... not all LNHers were worthy of trust.

They got down into the converted air raid shelter that served as their current
base of operations. There were net.heroes sitting, chatting, playing games;
they looked up as Fuzzy and the others entered, looked down again as it became
clear they were alone.

Hell Catalyst looked them over. "...at least you came back without major
injuries?" she volunteered.

Fuzzy laughed. "You don't have to sugarcoat it. The latest mission of the
Enigma of Net.Heroes was an abject failure."

"They're not all going to be successes..." But HC's words floundered, and she
sighed. Still, she gave Fuzzy a brave smile, and took her hands. "You should
shower, have some food, and get some sleep. Tomorrow we can try again."

Fuzzy sighed, and smiled back. "Yeah, all right. Make sure everybody else does,
too."

"On it, boss!" Hell Catalyst gave her a big thumbs up.

After something that couldn't really be called a shower but still got her clean,
and a meal of very interesting mushroom-based protein bars, Fuzzy laid down on
her bedroll in a dark corner, a small electric lantern beside her. She picked
up the spiral notebook she'd left there, pulled the pen out of the spiraly bit,
and began writing...

====

Fuzzy War Journal, January 6th, 2025.

The Legion of Net.Heroes is dead.

When Hex Luthor won the leadership election by bringing in thousands of Bad
Judgment Boys from other universes, each of whom was, technically, already a
member of the Legion, we railed at him, refused to consider it a fair victory
and refused to treat him as leader. But when he used the power of the Universal
Office to enter himself into the Looniverse's Akashic Record as leader, the
other candidates and I activated Plan Omega, each splitting off a new team.

We've lost contact with Merissa's Generation LNH and Small-Attention-Span-For-
Nonsense Lass's Net.Hero Brigade. We've maintained an uneasy alliance with
Pragmatic-Reasons Lass's Legioncorp, but there's no way they're not going to
betray us sooner or later. We don't know where the others are. We may be the
last left standing against Hex.

Will we ever be able to take back the LNHQ and rebuild the Legion? Should we
even be trying, anymore? I don't know. All I know is, I can't stand how things
are. So I'm going to keep fighting, until I can't any more.

====

Fuzzy's pen hovered over the page. It felt like there should be more to say...
but nothing came.

She sighed, closed the journal, put it on the floor. She turned off the lantern,
laid her head on the pillow, and closed her eyes.

All was quiet.

In the darkness came the flash of gunpowder igniting, and the sharp bark of a
silenced handgun.

All was quiet again.

A few minutes later, a woman in a bright orange suit climbed out of a drainage
grate. She pulled a phone out of her pocket and spoke into it.

"This is Ms. Executor. The target has been eliminated."
_______________________________________________________________________________

Drew "HERE WE GO" Nilium