Re: Re: Introductions

On Thu, 8 May 2003, Chris Morris wrote:

> Why did he go against his beliefs? He talked about his desire for integrity
> in a way that convinced me (still does) for 30 minutes. He still went
> against them, though.

I don't see how he went against his beliefs, in the story you tell. He may 
have gone against his stated beliefs, but perhaps those are not his real 
beliefs. 

When I was much younger, I used to have a lot of trouble reconciling my
apparent beliefs and my impulses. It took some years, but most of those
are worked out, now. Now I have beliefs that honor my impulses, instead of
rejecting them. I found that my old beliefs weren't helping much. Sounds
like your friend is confused, that way, too. It will pass.

If the girl he was pursuing was weirded out by what he said, I doubt that 
has much to do with rules of office romances. I suspect its because she 
doesn't like him, or if she does, perhaps she is confused about rules 
versus impulses, too. Anyway, he got his answer, and he should move on, 
without blaming himself.

Before I found my mate, I had a string of awkward situations with women 
who in retrospect weren't right for me. I'm so glad, looking back, that 
they were weirded out. Otherwise I wouldn't be married to my wife, Lenore. 
It may be that your friends impulses are what should not be resisted, and 
he *should* resist the idea of holding back.

-- James


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