Re: Re: Introductions / Emotions

> At another level, focusing on any positive/restorative emotion or
> action towards that, can help gain emotional and cognitive distance
> enough from the really draining emotions to work through what
> information the emotion is trying to convey.  For example, someone
> wants help with a 'problem'.  Focusing on the problem gives you more
> problem.  Focusing on what you want -- a resolution (and this is a
> technique behind Appreciative Inquiry and Brief Consulting both) --
> can find a space wherein the 'problem' is moot -- or at least at
> enough distance you can work with it.  Rather than trying not to sin,
> focus on what brings redemption -- forgiveness, acceptance, and love.

Would you agree there needs to be a balance between problem analysis and
solution analysis? I think so. I think both extremes, focusing too much on
the problem and focusing too much on the solution, are to be avoided.

A doctor or a programmer (etc) can err both by (a) never getting past
treating the symptoms to find the true root of an issue or (b) spending too
much time diagnosing that the bigger picture is lost and pragmatic steps to
move forward never sought.

>  This was, in my read of the Gospels, what the message of those books
> was all about.

It's a bit off-topic, but the message of the Gospels was that Jesus claimed
to be God, died and rose again for the forgiveness of all who believe in
Him. He did, of course, teach emphasizing grace over justice ("You without
sin cast the first stone..."), but His main focus was not teaching morality.

> For direct application to this thread, rather than focus on why
> someone is resisting, find out what they want/need.  And help them
> find that within the situation.  Honor the resistance, accept it as
> how it is, right now, and focus on where they want to be.

See, I think there's great value in finding out why someone is resisting.
But then you say "find out what they need" -- and sometimes I think the only
path to need is through examining the resistance.

Chris


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