Re: Don't Be Nice, Be Real

Chris Morris <[email protected]>
Newsgroups gmane.culture.business.resistance-as-a-resource
Message-ID <[email protected]>
Wayne Strider wrote:

>Brad,
>Empathy is a feeling not a behavior.  As a result of feeling empathy any number of behaviors might follow.
>
>In my experience automatic/unconscious behaviors (competent or not) do not work very well when dealing with human beings.
>
>What does seem to work (for me) is to first be in touch with me--my feelings (including empathy), thoughts, wants, needs, hopes, my internal resources.
>
>With my awareness of me I desire to choose a behavior consciously that fits for me, respects the other person's thoughts, feelings, wants, and so on, and makes sense given the context within which I meet the other person.
>
>Of course I am not always able to be that congruent.  I keep trying.
>  
>
To try and rephrase Brad's question:

If I don't feel any empathy, but then come to a place where I say to 
myself, "Self, you're a selfish guy. How come you never have empathy for 
others' situations?" ... what can I do to change so that in future 
situations, the empathy could come more naturally?

Chris


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