Re: Don't Be Nice, Be Real / How does this differ by type?

Dale:

I would certainly agree that "type is very much about what we attend 
to."  After all, our personality types, together with the values that 
we have imbibed through our most formative years (and which, in turn, 
make up our values, again) color the glasses through which we see the 
world.

Not to steer this in a different direction, but I have recently come 
across a really fascinating book that describes many of the 
discussion situations and style issues that you and others have 
mentioned on this list.  The book is _How To Shine At Work_ by Linda 
Dominguez (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-
/0071408657/qid=1059147248/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/104-7239076-1303966?
v=glance&s=books).  In the first two chapters, it discusses in great 
detail how to circumnavigate such communication issues with bosses 
and with coworkers--to make you more aware of your own needs and 
values, it contains worksheets for you to fill out, strategies to 
analyze and connect with your and your coworkers' value systems, in 
order to manage your work interactions more effectively (including 
emotions etc.).  I would strongly recommend at least looking at this 
book the next time you're at Borders or B&N.

On another note, does anyone know of a project management network in 
the San Luis Obispo area?  I have decided to take a job down there 
and leave the terrible politics in my old job far behind me...  So, 
any recommendations are welcome.

Cheers,

Sonja





--- In [email protected], Dale Emery 

*snip*

> I'm guessing that type is very much about what we attend to, and 
> that people who are attending to very different things are more 
> likely to resist each other, especially if they are not explicit 
> about what they are attending to.  I'm thinking, "The boss 
> doesn't care about all of those people who are going to be 
> affected!"  The boss is thinking, "Dale doesn't care about 
> getting this job done!"
> 
> I haven't noticed how nice/nice affects resistance.  I'm thinking 
> of nice/nice as placating, and wondering how the other coping 
> stances (blaming, irrelevant, superreasonable, lover/hater, 
> congruent) affect resistance.



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