Re: Internal resistance

Malte Finsterwalder wrote:

>But for me it's sometimes very hard to find alternatives that I don't 
>resist. Finding out why I dislike something gives me a better position 
>to find alternatives. If I know better why I resist, I know better what 
>to avoid and then I also know better what alternatives are possible.
>  
>

Amy wrote:

>When I feel internal resistance, (after a lengthy denial stage -- hey,
>I'm human) I ask what it is telling me about myself and then ask 'what
>next'.  And use the resistance as a very useful resource to spur more
>creative ways of reaching my real objectives.
>

I agree with Malte that understanding why I resist is very valuable, and 
skipping that step may encourage me to do something different that 
doesn't address to real reason I was resisting in the first place.

However, that step is hard sometimes, and Amy's technique of trying to 
move on to alternatives that she doesn't resist is also a good tool. 
Maybe she can't articulate why she doesn't like cold calls, but by 
explaining what she does like about warm calls, we can start to see some 
more fundamental issues.

So if she likes this:

>I do warm calls -- so my avenue is to discover how to warm
>contacts.  To do this I do what I like to do -- call or email people
>that I like and that like me.  I call people that I find interesting
>and talk about my ultimate objective -- finding paying work that is
>interesting and mutually beneficial and finding interesting people
>that need what I do.  This leads me into wonderful conversations where
>I get to hear myself articulate the value and benefits of working with
>me in new ways, hear other's ideas on who else they know could really
>use my special abilities and then -- and here is the key part -- ask
>them to introduce me.  I share with them my disllike for cold calls
>(and my dislike at receiving cold calls).  To a person, everyone has
>fully embraced and understood my resistance to cold calls (I have not
>met even one person who liked them -- some have learned to tolerate
>them but none really like them). 
>
We can guess at what's missing in cold calls for her: my guess is 
they're impersonal and lacking in trust. A warm call has an important 
ingredient -- a thread of trust. "here is the key part -- ask them to 
introduce me"

To me, a cold call is scary because I don't know how (or don't believe I 
know how) to effectively initiate a call without any trust in it and try 
to sell a person on me, when the very act itself seems to be untrustworthy.

-- 
Chris
http://clabs.org/blogki



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