Re: Re: Internal resistance

Hello Amy, hi Chris,

Amy Schwab wrote:
> You provoke my thinking -- thank you.

same to you!

> --- Malte Finsterwalder wrote:
>>But for me it's sometimes very hard to find alternatives that I don't 
>>resist. Finding out why I dislike something gives me a better position 
>>to find alternatives. If I know better why I resist, I know better what 
>>to avoid and then I also know better what alternatives are possible.
>>
>>And sometimes finding out why I dislike doing something leads to the 
>>understanding that I really don't need to dislike doing it. Sometimes 
>>the reason why I dislike something is no longer valid. So I can 
>>gradually educate myself to not dislike the situation at hand.
> 
> Yes, I acknowledge the difficulty in sometimes finding alternatives
> that are more alluring.  I ask myself (and this well might fall into
> the 'why' category) what I'm really trying to accomplish, and what is
> important about doing this, and what that will get me.  And what that
> will get me.  And what that will get me.  When I get to a level of
> answer that does not elicit the resistance, that is where I start to
> look for next steps.  
> 
> I think the distinction here is focusing on the foundational 'what do
> I want' rather than the 'why do I feel this way' question.  Never one
> to categorically do or NOT do anything, of course I engage in trying
> to figure out the source of strong reactions.  And learn from myself
> in the process.  

For me both techniques are valuable.
And what we usually do is probably a mixture.
And of course it always depends on the situation.

> As for learning why I dislike something, I've learned about myself
> (and this might be very different for others -- I expect) that if I
> consciously choose to make up a different story about the thing I
> dislike, I can just as effectively short-circuit the dislike as if I
> dig back and figure out how the original story came about.
> 
> Another strategy that I like even better than figuring out a different
> story about resistance, is to focus on the times that I have not felt
> the resistance and learn from those times.  Even if it almost never
> happens -- the fact that it ever does happen provides key information
> to how it can happen and might happen in the future.  

That's another valuable clue.

For me it's a toolbox:

1) Why do we resist?
I think it's valuable to find out why we resist, because that way we can 
learn about ourselves. It also gives us strong clues what we need to 
change to overcome our resistance.

2) Finding alternatives that we don't resist.
But it is also valuable to search alternatives to what we resist, even 
if we don't yet know in detail why we resist. When we find an 
alternative that we don't resist, we advance. And finding an alternative 
can sometimes give us clues why we resist.

3) Analyse what we like.
Analyse the situations we like and don't resist to find out what we value.

Greetings,
    Malte



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