Re: inner resistance

Hi Wayne,
Most of the times I am aware when I am resisting. I feel an emotion somewhere in my body, my 'dharmabell' as I like to call it. Like when I have a to slow driving car in front of me. I recongnise (am aware of) the resistence and say "thanks" to the universe for letting me know there is still something to clear. Works great for ME.

Now the question is how to recognise and handle the resistence with OTHERS. For example. In my groupcoaching there is sometimes one who is resisting more or less everything. He does'nt like the group, doesn t like the process, already 'knows' everything others tell hem, etc. This person is, in my perception, highly resisting. How to get to his resistence? When I ask "What are you resisting" the immediate answer is most of the times "Nothing!". You recognise this? My question is: What kind of questions can I ask to break through this kind of resistence. It's easy to play mental (ego) games, but I am looking for a way to get to his hart straight away. 

Greetings
Alex
 
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Wayne Strider 
  To: [email protected] 
  Sent: Wednesday, December 03, 2003 1:47 AM
  Subject: Re: [resistance] inner resistance


  Awareness is the first step.  Sometimes resistance is out of our
  awareness perhaps because we call it by another name.  James calls it
  procrastination sometimes.  I think you said you were looking for an
  exercise.  Try this.  Make a list of your behaviors that you do when you
  resist.  They may have different names like procrastination (I sometimes
  ignore, blame, blow off.)   Practice catching yourself doing one of the
  behaviors on your list.  This will help with awareness.

  Once you get good at the awareness piece you can try to find the
  positive intention in each of the behaviors like James did with
  procrastination--it protects him from doing poor quality work.

  Remember another resource is choice.  You get to choose what to do with
  your resistance.  Using your awareness and your knowledge of positive
  intention you can choose to act on the positive intention or not.  Using
  the procrastination example, I might be aware that I'm procrastinating
  (because it protects me from doing poor work) but choose to stop
  procrastinating because it might be OK sometimes to do poor work
  temporarily, like when I am working the kinks out of a new idea.
  Wayne.

  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: <[email protected]>
  To: <[email protected]>
  Sent: Tuesday, December 02, 2003 1:26 PM
  Subject: Re: [resistance] inner resistance


  > Hi Wayne,
  > Thanks for your reply. Maybe remove/demish is not the right
  expression. In my personal life I 'transformed' a lot of my former
  resistences into what is sometimes called 'personal power' or 'inner
  strength'. So transforming is probably a better way to discribe the
  proces I am after, but before that I am looking for different ways than
  I know to transform resistance into power/resource.
  > greetings,
  > Alex
  >
  > ----- Original Message ----- 
  >   From: Wayne Strider
  >   To: [email protected]
  >   Sent: Tuesday, December 02, 2003 6:42 PM
  >   Subject: Re: [resistance] inner resistance
  >
  >
  >   Hi Alex,
  >   If I accept that resistance is a resource (I do) why would I want to
  >   diminish or remove it?
  >   Wayne.
  >   ----- Original Message ----- 
  >   From: <[email protected]>
  >   To: <[email protected]>
  >   Sent: Tuesday, December 02, 2003 1:06 AM
  >   Subject: [resistance] inner resistance
  >
  >
  >   > Hi all,
  >   >
  >   > I am looking for ways, to be specific, written exercises or
  questions,
  >   to get to ones inner resistance to the forefront
  >   > and step two how to exercises or questions help one to deminish or

  >   (ideally remove) this resistance.
  >   > Can someone in this group help me out?
  >   >
  >   > Alex Engel
  >   > Dutch coach
  >   >
  >   > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
  >   >
  >   >
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