Re: draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery

This is a very useful addition to the AMT toolkit, which should
encourage the deployment of multicast services.  I therefore support its
adoption enthusiastically.

I offer the following nits:

Section 2.2, para 5, line 5.  "a SSM" -> "an SSM"  (Since "SSM" is
pronounced "es-es-em", the initial *sound" is "es", and the required
form for the indefinite article is therefore "an".  The form of the
article is dependent on the initial _sound_, not the initial _letter_.)

Section 2.3.1, para 2, line 2.  "a SSM" -> "an SSM"

Section 2.4.2, para 4, bullet 3, line 2.  "which" -> "that"  (See the
end of this review for the reason.)

Paragraph 12, line 1.  Should this "may" be "MAY"?

Section 2.5.2, para 2, line 3.  "following" -> "remaining 4"  (I feel
that "following" is ambiguous.)

Bullet 6, line 1.  "a (S,G)" -> "an (S,G)"

Section 2.5.3, para 1, line 4.  "as long the" -> "as long as the"

Section 2.5.6, para 1, line 1.  Should "should" be "SHOULD"?

Para 2, line 1.  Should "are required to" be "MUST"?

Para 6.  Again, this looks to me like normative text, but there are no
RFC 2119 keywords.

Section 4.3.2, para 1, line 6.  Since the last field of this line
contains what looks like an FQDN, I believe that the terminal period
should not be present.


NOTE on use of "which" and "that".  "that" is used when the phrase
following it is _required_ if we are going to be able to completely
identify what is being talked about, while "which" is used to introduce
supplementary information.  Some examples:

1) If there are three houses on the street, and only one of them is at
the corner, then you say:
"The house that is on the corner needs to be painted."
2) If there are three houses on the street, and only one of them is
yellow, then you say:
"The yellow house, which needs to be painted, is for sale."

In the first case, the observer cannot identify the exact house until
its position is given.  In the second case, the house is completely
identified by its colour, and the information about the need to be
painted is supplementary information.  This information is set off with
commas, and introduced with "which".

Bill Atwood


On 2019-06-12 12:31 p.m., Warren Kumari wrote:
> Dear MBONED,
> 
> Pretty please, can you review and comment on the WGLC for
> draft-ietf-mboned-ieee802-mcast-problems and
> draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery ?
> 
> See the thread labeled: "[MBONED] WGLCs for
> draft-ietf-mboned-ieee802-mcast-problems and
> draft-ietf-mboned-driad-amt-discovery"
> 
> The initial WGLC was extended until June 13th to get additional
> feedback - "both docs have enjoyed tremendous support from folks in
> the meetings/list in the past and there has been no particularly
> controversies  noted in either doc."
> 
> It will be very discouraging if we cannot get additional comments.
> 
> W
> 

-- 
Dr. J.W. Atwood, Eng.             tel:   +1 (514) 848-2424 x3046
Distinguished Professor Emeritus  fax:   +1 (514) 848-2830
Department of Computer Science
   and Software Engineering
Concordia University EV 3.185     email:[email protected]
1455 de Maisonneuve Blvd. West    http://users.encs.concordia.ca/~bill
Montreal, Quebec Canada H3G 1M8

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