Re: [UG-ADMINS] Dealing with a member issue

Great advice Jon! 

> On Jan 20, 2016, at 1:14 PM, Jonathan Sundquist <[email protected]> wrote:
> 
> Hey Beth,
> 
> Sorry to hear you are having troubles with an individual at both the
> conference and your user group meetings now.  Though we have not gone
> through this ourselves a few thoughts. Make sure to keep a record of every
> incident incase it escalates.  Make sure to have a written letter stating
> that the person is not welcome to discuss such items at your user group
> meetings, message board mailing list, or conferences.  In case it goes
> further than what some would like, restraining order if required, you will
> need that paper trail to show you have respectfully asked them to stop.
> 
> I would also agree with others already, start with a warning (which you
> have done but was it in written form?). If it continues go with a temporary
> ban, can call it a cooling off period.  Once the person has been brought
> back to the group and they continue I would agree that a full ban from user
> group activities and conferences would be necessary. If they still continue
> I would consider going one step further.
> 
> Each situation is different so ultimately it will be your decision on how
> you want to handle it.
> 
> - Jon
> 
>> On Wed, Jan 20, 2016 at 2:59 PM Tessa Mero <[email protected]> wrote:
>> 
>> Beth, to add to my previous message, now that I just read David's message,
>> do you have a very basic Code of Conduct for your user group? If not, I'm
>> happy to give you a copy of our SeaPHP's code of conduct. You may use the
>> whole thing (open source!) and it's very short and precise, basically
>> stating to be respectful to people, not harass people, not threaten people,
>> or you will be removed from the user group. That way you have something to
>> point them to, as a reasoning for their removal, rather than the "rules
>> coming out of your mouth".
>> 
>> 
>> 
>>> On Wed, Jan 20, 2016 at 12:56 PM, Tessa Mero <[email protected]> wrote:
>>> 
>>> Hi Beth,
>>> 
>>> The Seattle PHP User Group is dealing with an IDENTICAL issue. The person
>>> has personality issues and a bit on functional psychotic side. He doesn't
>>> corner people, but harasses people non stop about his fictional life
>>> stories. Most of these stories are absurd and ridiculous, sometimes
>>> disgusting. He has made numerous people uncomfortable and people are
>> afraid
>>> to be at a meetup near him. I've had people contact me in private fearing
>>> his actions. (Such as, a group member has the same exact first name as a
>>> famous person that the harasser does not like, and talks to him as if he
>> is
>>> that famous person and sends horrible letters to him frequently).
>>> 
>>> So, as first steps, our organizers had a recent vote to remove the said
>>> harasser from our mailing lists, so he now cannot receive email
>>> notifications from our mailing list.  Since that sends a notification of
>>> the removal, he sent a very disgusting message to us that made absolutely
>>> no sense, but using disgusting words.
>>> 
>>> I think the next steps would be removal from the meetup group, and if
>>> harassment continues to group members, we may put a restraining order on
>>> him.
>>> 
>>> Your situation is the same, but a bit different with what's coming out of
>>> the persons mouth. In this case, when you are repeatedly asking someone
>> to
>>> please stop something, and they continue, I'd assume it would be
>>> harassment, and harassment should be leading to a ban.
>>> 
>>> I'm open ears to hear other peoples suggestions as well. Thank you for
>>> sharing Beth. This may open up others to share stories too, so we can all
>>> give feedback to each other.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>> Tessa Mero
>>> SeaPHP Organizer
>>> 
>>> On Wed, Jan 20, 2016 at 12:31 PM, Beth Tucker Long <
>>> [email protected]> wrote:
>>> 
>>>> We have a member who just started coming to our conference and user
>> group
>>>> meetings. At the conference, he consistently cornered people to talk to
>>>> them about Jesus. He has started doing it at the meetings too. We have
>>>> asked him to stop and explained that this is not an appropriate venue
>> for
>>>> these discussions and that the discussions need to stay PHP-focused. He
>> has
>>>> replied that he cannot stop talking about Jesus, and that if we want
>> him to
>>>> stop, we'll have to kick him out of the group. We responded with a firm
>>>> response clarifying that our group is not the appropriate venue for his
>>>> preaching and that discussions must stay on topic. We did not say he was
>>>> banned from the group. He has not taken the hint and has now tried
>>>> contacting the group leadership through the conference website (he
>>>> apparently doesn't realize that we are the same people) asking for a
>>>> face-to-face meeting to discuss these issues.
>>>> 
>>>> Has anyone dealt with anything like this in their group? We do not want
>>>> this to get ugly as we are a small group and this person has not caused
>>>> issues in the past, so this is a new thing that started recently (in
>>>> November). Any advice?
>>>> Thanks,
>>>> Beth
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> --
>>>> Beth Tucker Long
>>>> Treeline Design, LLC
>>>> 807 Arbor Vitae Place
>>>> Verona, WI 53593
>>>> 608-770-6677
>>>> http://www.TreelineDesign.com
>>>> 
>>>> 
>>>> --
>>>> Usergroup Coordination Mailing List (http://ug.php.net)
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>>